[Part 4/4]
"No. I won't move until we talk."
"Princess, being stubborn..."
"If you don't like it, then leave. Abandon me."
"What foolishness..."
As I've said this much, a feeling of unease wells up. Perhaps even déjà vu. Our eyes meet. She smiles.
"...You remember, right? The memories from that day, they've come back?"
"...!!"
I try to step back in response to the ominous feeling, but she stops me. She grabs my arm, and my attempt to retreat fails.
"Well then, you remember, don't you? What you did that day."
"Princess, I...!!"
"You remember, don't you? TWhat you did to me?"
"Stop it!! I...I...!!"
I... I've discarded the facade of pretense. I'm desperately denying it. I'm trying to shake off the memories of that day.
"You remember, don't you? That day, you..."
"Stop it!!"
I forcefully brush off her grip. But it's in vain.
"Don't run away!!"
Suddenly, the pink-clad princess hugs me tightly. Her beauty against my chest, her soft touch against my abdomen. I feel the curves of her body through the drenched clothes, an almost violent sensation. Her body clinging to mine. My mind is swirling in confusion.
"Princess...!!?"
"I know!! I know, but...even though I know everything, I still want to say it!!"
I tried to pull away by touching her shoulder, but her intensity is overwhelming, and I can't do anything more. I can only look at her, who's gazing up at me.
"Wh-what is it...?"
"Please!! Please, let me say it!! Everything, everything I've been hiding from you...!!"
And then she begins to speak. A dreaded revelation for me.
"I did it, you know! I've been testing you all along!!"
"Tes...testing...?"
It's almost a scream, her voice full of emotion. Almost a cry that's hard to understand. But that word makes me stop and think. Her words leave me puzzled.
"Yes! I did it to make you grow! I wanted you to become someone suitable for me! Haven't I given you lots of ridiculous orders? All of it was for this! I wanted you to be someone by my side! I wanted you to shine! I gave you a role I thought you could overcome!!"
"Wh-what are you talking about...!?"
Receiving such a sudden confession was shockingly overwhelming for me. Why now? I harbored doubts. But beyond that, the nature of the confession itself was unforgivable. Even if it were capricious amusement, it was still loathsome. But was this really intentional?
"Wha...? For that, for something like that...? What about you, Princess?"
"Yes, that's right!! That's exactly it!!"
Her response to my vague question only fuels her laughter, a strained mixture of crying and laughing.
"Don't you understand? Why have you survived till now? Why did you have help when things got dangerous? Why did I give you a powerful curse-tool? Why did I keep so many secrets from you? Yes, I've been watching you. I wanted you to be the person I desire...I've been guiding you!!"
"You're...you're joking!!"
Frustration takes over, and I find myself grabbing Aoi by the collar. I'm choking her, knowing that if it's found out, I could be executed, and yet I easily strangle her. But she doesn't show the slightest intent to resist. She just gazes up at me. Unaware of that, I shout.
"What the hell then!!? My, my comrades? My subordinates? How many do you think died!? Have you... for the sake of your petty schemes, left them to die!?"
"Yes, that's right!!"
I was taken aback by her immediate response. She continues speaking.
"For me, anyone other than you was meaningless!! I couldn't trust anyone else!! I wanted you to feel the same way!! Because, you remember, don't you? About that day...!?"
"...!?"
She points it out. Accuses. Condemns. About that day. About that betrayal. About the betrayal of both of us. She grotesquely digs it all up.
"There's no way to trust you!! There's no way you had comrades!! That day, how cruelly we were betrayed, you surely can't not know, right? Even the woman who told me so much was fooled like an idiot!! Your comrades, the ones you trusted, betrayed you, hurt you, nearly killed you!! It was like a farce!"
She screams hysterically. She shouts the truth. She shouts the reality. Aoi keeps shouting.
"How miserable a face you had, how much it tore at my heart to see that!! You can imagine that, can't you!? And yet, you still blame me!?"
"Even so! I... and besides, the people back then are one thing, but what about now!?"
"I can't do everything!!"
I desperately try to counter her, but she immediately retaliates.
"You know, right? Since that man woke up, my authority has dwindled so much...!? In the end, I'm just his daughter. My power is so limited! That's why I had to protect you at all costs!! I wanted to strengthen your position!! I could sacrifice everything else for that!! Even myself!!"
Her words were true and logical. Since that man, Onitsuki Yuusei, woke up, her ability to speak up had significantly diminished. Rather, it might be unusual that after that man fell ill, Aoi acted so arrogantly. And like back then, no one could deny that there wouldn't be similar incidents among the subordinates in the future.
Who can guarantee that what happened once won't happen again?
"I moved behind the scenes for your sake... you don't know. It wasn't easy to assist you or offer you help. After all, I was nearly assassinated once!! In the first year, the second year, I had to endure difficult positions because I didn't know when he would wake up!"
She was crying. The haughty princess, who usually walked around dressed in pride, was crying like a child throwing a tantrum. She was like a child. Just like the scene from that day.
"Even so, I...!! Besides, it's your fault, isn't it? You involved me in your family's troubles! Moreover, because of your foolish ideas, I've become a monster!! My family was taken hostage...!! Don't mess with me!! How are you going to fix this!!?"
"That's right!! I know!! It's my fault!!"
I almost sympathized with her wailing and complaints, but my anger overcame it, and I continued to admonish her. The content wasn't solely her responsibility. There were also circumstances beyond her control. Still, out of sheer animosity, I hurled accusations at her... and she accepted it all without hesitation. Without realizing it, I had released my grip on her throat. Coughing lightly, she said.
"Why, are you so easily..."
"Cough! Cough!? ...Hehe. It's punishment for sin, I know. I understand it all."
She gazes at me. Her peach-colored eyes reflect a sadness. With a faint smile, she declares.
"Yes. I'll accept the punishment. Responsibility for taking away something precious from you, for continuing to hurt you. I'll accept it all. I've been prepared for this from the beginning. For a long, long time..."
Aoi collapses on the spot. Drenched by the rain, she clings to my legs. In a pitifully wretched state, she continues to gaze up at me.
"When everything is over, I'll bear the responsibility. You can do whatever you want to me. Punish me, burn me, whatever. Violate me, insult me, degrade me, everything... even my life. I entrust it all to you, leave it all to you."
"You're not sane... you're not sane at all..."
I instinctively utter those words in response to her statement. Her words were completely irrational.
"That's right. I'm not sane. Because I'm carried away by you. Because I'm consumed by my love for you...!!"
And she finally confessed. Those words were like a curse to me now.
"Why... why, like this..."
Despite my agitation, my murmurs, she didn't go easy on me. She added more pressure.
"Isn't it obvious because I love you? Because I fell in love with you that day..."
"I didn't... I didn't mean for that to happen!!"
"That's exactly why! Because you were the only one who helped me out of goodwill! Because you were the only one who protected me..."
"Wrong! I... I just wanted to save myself...!"
"Don't lie!!"
I'm silenced by her sharp retort.
"You're lying. You had the choice to abandon me that day! But you brushed that aside and with your own hands..."
"Shut up! Just shut up!? Don't say anything more!!"
It was akin to torture by now. Each of her words inflicted unbearable pain on me. What made it painful was that those words were touching a part of the truth.
"No! I'll tell you everything! I'll spill everything! I won't let you escape. Please, at least listen to everything before you decide...!!"
"Doing whatever you please...!?"
I genuinely felt a desire to kill Aoi. I even wanted to kill her. And I knew. That wasn't right.
"Please, listen! I want to give you everything, even Onitsuki's family. Even though you probably have nothing but hatred for me... if you want it, I'll give you everything from my family. I'll give you my wealth, and I'll even release the surviving members of your group. If you want revenge, I can even hand you their heads...!!"
"Is that necessary!? I don't need that!!"
"Even Onitsuki Yuusei's head!?"
"...!!?"
With Aoi's final words, I could no longer resist. She continued with tearful laughter. Finally, she had found something she truly desired and was overjoyed. She whispered like a dreaming girl.
"Please. Don't abandon me. Because I'll work hard for you... I'll do my best to fulfill your wishes, to the best of my abilities. I won't be a hindrance to you anymore..."
She pleads. She desperately pleads and implores.
"I'll be useful to you. I can even provide you with companions for your sake. I can even arrange things to protect your family. I can help you with your revenge. So, that's why..."
Repeatedly saying "that's why" like a delirium, her pupils gradually return to normal from their daze. She murmurs towards me.
"Don't abandon me..."
"...!!!?"
I'm left speechless by those words, but I can't find the words to respond. I don't know what I should say. I don't know what choice is right. My determination wavers. Desires whirl. Calculations for the ugly revenge rise.
"I... I..."
What should I do? I wanted someone to tell me. Common sense and malice clash. And I realize that the scales are gradually tipping. It's an answer I can't accept. But...
"I...!!"
In front of me, looking down at Aoi who is pitifully groveling, the memory of that dreadful day comes to my mind...
Fan art (AI):
Title: Requiem dance from Chapter 62
URL: [Link]
Title: Shirowakamaru from chapter 90
URL: [Link]
Title: Kayo-chan from Chapter 35
URL: [Link]
Title: Game Route fall of Kayo-chan
URL: [Link]
Title: Main Villa Serving Kayo-chan
URL: [Link]
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