Volume 5 Chapter 48 Birdcage
Wait, Yuusuke, that's wrong. How many times do you intend to repeat the same mistake?
It's always like that. I judge only by the surface of words, become emotional, and can't consider the feelings behind them. With Eris, with Tsukiko, if I had approached them at that time, the result might have been different.
They can never be honest. Exposing everything about oneself is synonymous with exposing one's weaknesses.
You know about Isumi Tsukiko, right? She's strong, with a core, clumsy, and kind.
Tsukiko said she was scared. What does that word mean? Consider why someone like her would confess that to me.
I stood up from the bench and knelt in front of Tsukiko.
"Tsukiko, please raise your face."
"..."
Only Tsukiko's eyes looked at me. Her anxious eyes, shaking, looked like those of a little girl.
No, that's right. Tsukiko is a girl.
Perhaps because her life-threatening work has always been given priority over her ordinary youth, she has grown twisted.
But she's still an ordinary girl. She worries about how to relate to others, makes mistakes, and worries about words.
I was taking advantage of Tsukiko's kindness. She noticed my scars, felt guilty about hiding something, and had been worried about me all this time.
In the midst of that, I was only satisfied with a happy life and not looking at Tsukiko seriously.
If I had looked at her seriously, I should have noticed. Since I was the closest, there's no way I couldn't have noticed such an obvious change in her.
"I'm sorry. I always worried you."
"Because I didn't say anything."
"That's both of us. I couldn't say anything either. I gave up."
Then it was hopeless. If I had been serious, I should have persisted. Even if it was embarrassing, even if I was rejected, I should have conveyed with words and actions that she was important.
If my feelings had been conveyed, even if there were secrets, we might have stayed connected.
It may not mean anything now to make such assumptions.
"I want to hear everything. What you think, what you're considering. Tsukiko may have been hurt or felt pressure because of me being around. But I don't hate that."
I clearly expressed my feelings.
I don't know if that was the answer she wanted. Still, Tsukiko raised her face and began to speak while choosing her words.
"You know I'm an Anti-Demon Official. Originally, the Isumi family is a family of magic. It's a lineage that has been around for a long time. I was born into that family."
I had a vague expectation, but it seems that the magic of the Earth is supported by lineage. If someone inherit the blood, the shape of the soul is similar. Especially if the upbringing and environment are the same.
And it was a common story for Asteris to inherit the same magic.
"I had talent as a magician. I don't really understand it myself, but I've been raised by the adults around me since I can remember. Like that, I've been separated from my parents and trained in magic by my grandfather."
Words fall and small droplets like rain splash here and there.
"I never had any friends in the past. I didn't know what to talk about. Even the children of the same magicians, once they realized the meaning of Isumi, they all distanced themselves. The Isumi family is deeply involved in the core of the Anti-demon official and politics. I am the successor of such a family. Even if I want to change something, I can't. Getting involved with me means getting involved with Isumi."
Tsukiko said with self-derision in the end.
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