Chapter 22 The Disappointing Hero Sends an Assassin
As I pressed the left click on the touchpad of my notebook PC, the video playback began.
In the dimly lit venue, a black screen initially appeared on the screen. White text floated on it simultaneously, accompanied by Takashi's voice reading aloud.
[──Kanae, bear my child.]
What an outrageous title I came up with!
The text melted away as if dissipating, and the screen transitioned to darkness. A shot of Kanae and Takashi emerged. Oh, it's cut off in this frame, but I'm sleeping nearby.
The footage switched, focusing on Takashi.
[...Kanae, it was tough for me too that I couldn't marry you. You understand, right? Because you started dating Tadayuki, I thought about our friendship and societal expectations. Consequently, I reluctantly married Misa.]
"Huh?"
"Takashi-kun?"
"What is it? Drama format?"
"It's a strangely elaborate production, isn't it?"
Slight discomfort runs through the venue.
Here, the image changes to an up-close shot of Kanae.
[I understand that, but...]
Clearly in an odd situation, a murmur rises in the venue.
"Eh, what is this?"
"What, eh?"
"Huh, That's Takashi, right?"
"What is he talking about?"
"Isn't it that? It's like a stolen marriage starts from here..."
[Please. Last time I made you abort my child, I was doing it normally, but it was painful for me too...]
"Eh...?"
"Abortion?"
"No, you can’t do that at a wedding..."
Amidst the commotion in the venue, Mizuno visibly starts to panic here.
But, overwhelmed with surprise, she remain frozen.
Kanae covers her mouth, and Takashi alternates between the screen and his wife attending with him.
[Then why can you just say things like, "Are you going to let me down again this time?" I tried to be as normal as possible, but I was hurt...]
[No, I'm not okay at all. But, you know, I don't have the right to say 'give birth,' right? I mean, I don't have that qualification.]
[Then, I'll say it. Kanae, have my child. I'm sorry for Tadayuki, but for both of us and for the child in your stomach, this is the best.]
"──Wait a minute! This isn't the video I made!"
Mizuno finally raised her voice. But the staff members were smiling, as if saying, "Ah, it's that person."
Well, at weddings, there are things you shouldn't cut, like scissors. Abortion is an instant red card. Good job noticing, staff!
However, the video continued to play as is.
The scene shifted to the Kato family's bedroom. Takashi and Kanae sat on the edge of the bed, their faces getting closer.
"Huh, wait a minute."
"No way, what's going on?"
In the midst of the growing commotion in the venue, just before the two kissed, the screen suddenly switched.
*Pin-pon!*
A warning sound rang out, followed by subtitles.
[Please enjoy the rest as an audiovisual experience.]
Gradually approaching from a distance, a lively sound is heard.
*Thud, thud, thud-thud-thud.*
As the sound grows louder, its nature becomes apparent. The sound of a sumo drum—familiar from sumo wrestling broadcasts. By the time the audience has sensed the true identity of the sound, a sumo wrestler is displayed on the screen.
The wrestlers' confrontations are continuously depicted one after another.
From their stances, they rise and collide. It is shown repeatedly. The confrontations of the wrestlers and the oddly synchronized voices of a man and a woman.
*Haa, haa, pound, pound, uu, nn, aa, pound, pound.*
The sounds of colliding sumo wrestlers and the voices of the two people. The visuals and audio curiously harmonize.
Amidst the continuing sounds of groans and bodies colliding, the conversation between the man and the woman is heard.
[Hey, you are so weak.]
[Oh, I'm weak, so no good!]
In response to Takashi's assertive voice, Kanae voices her surrender.
On the screen, the sumo wrestler who had somehow endured near the edge of the ring was pushed out at the same time as the shout of "No way!" and broke the ring.
It's as if men and women are doing play-by-play commentary on sumo wrestling. Occasionally, strange voices are mixed in.
[How about this, horaa!]
[More! Twist harder!]
In response to Kanae's scream request, the sumo wrestler threw his opponent with a neck-twisting throw.
[Do you want it even stronger? Horaa?]
[No, it'll tear apart!]
[Hehe, like this? Like this?]
While saying, "Like this? Like this?" the sumo wrestler pulled the grabbed mawashi hard towards him, but it was very sturdy, so it didn't tear, of course.
[Tighten it more, Kanae...]
The sumo wrestler, unrelated to everything, somehow reminds of the line 'Sasuke....'
[Mmm, mmm.]
[Ugh, oh... you've really gotten good at tightening.]
[Hehe, I practiced a lot.]
On the screen, the attendant was earnestly tightening the sekitori's mawashi.
I'm glad you received praise! All that practice to tighten up really paid off, huh?
But speaking casually to your attendant is not okay, you know?
Now, it's time for the climax.
This final scene encapsulates all of my sense and skill.
[Hey, lift that ass up higher...]
Following Takashi's command, the sumo wrestler, placing both fists on the ground, forcefully thrusts his buttocks upwards in a spirited manner.
[Come on, apologize to Tadayuki! You masochistic woman!]
Just before the colliding sumo wrestlers could make contact, as per Takashi's words, one of them delivers a slap.
The slap lands squarely, producing a resounding "smack!" as Kanae, playing the role of the sumo wrestler, cries out.
[Tadayukiiii! I'm sooo sorryyyy! It's all because of Taka-chan, I've come to enjoy being hit! Nooo! Nooo! Nooo...]
Amidst the echoing of Kanae's voice, the sumo wrestler struck by the slap falls down slowly, in slow motion.
As he falls completely, the echo fades, and the video comes to an end.
As the video ends, the lights illuminate the venue once again.
Under the exposed light, the atmosphere feels more like a funeral than a wedding.
Amid the silent stillness, Junji-kun, Takashi's son, asked with a puzzled expression, "Hey, Dad, why was Kanae apologizing to you?"
Hahaha. Junji-kun is quite curious!
Come on, Dad, answer him. But no one uttered a word. Well, I guess I'll have to.
I returned to the groom's seat, took the microphone, and spoke to Takashi.
"Hey, Takashi! Even if it's a surprise, think about the content! Kanae, too, shouldn't pull off such a surprise, right? Everyone in the venue is taken aback. Seriously."
As I laughed, words like "Huh?" and "Surprise?" flew around the venue along with confusion.
Despite his contorted face, Takashi somehow managed to answer, "W-well, it's a bit much, I thought it was dangerous too, but Mizuno said if it's not this kind of production, it won't work."
Oh, you're doing your best!
Next to her, Kanae was dripping with sweat, her face turning pale as she managed to force a smile.
"Oh, your makeup is running, huh? But the touch-up will have to wait, won't it?"
However, Mizuno wasn't in a joking mood.
"Huh? No way! I didn't create something like this!"
"Oh, Mizuno, that's no way. I get that you'd want to say that in this situation, but..."
Oh well, Takashi-kun is truly a scoundrel. Blaming Mizuno to save himself. But it's futile!
Hahaha, let's get this started, shall we?
"Alright, alright, everyone, sorry for the disturbance! As the conclusion to this prank, I have a proposal!"
As I spoke, the audience's attention focused on me.
"When the child is born, the three of us—me, Takashi, and Kanae—will conduct a DNA test and send you all the results! Takashi, since you pulled off such a prank, cooperate, will you? I bet not many of you have seen something like this before, so look forward to it!"
I could feel the air whispering 'Ah, it's definitely a prank,' and a few chuckles erupted from the crowd.
"Hey, Takashi! Just cooperate!"
Some jeers came flying from his other friends.
The venue was completely buzzing with the success of my prank.
But, of course, Takashi and Kanae were flustered.
"Nah, we don't have to go that far! It'll cost us, you know..."
"Yeah, Tadayuki, let's not do that, okay?"
While smiling at the two, I gave my chest a thump.
"Don't worry! I'll cover the expenses! It's all part of the wedding entertainment!"
"N-no, Tadayuki, it's not like that..."
"Isn't giving a DNA test result as a wedding favor kind of funny, everyone?"
As I stirred up the venue, laughter burst out. Hehehe, I give hope and then squash it. That's my style.
Mocking me by calling the way I bounced around with the glue on the tips of cricket legs 'squats,' don't underestimate my cunning, alright?
Amidst those conversations, there was finally someone who reached their limit.
It was Mizuno Shoko.
"Don't be ridiculous! Blaming it on me! It's not my fault to begin with; it's because you two are having an affair! Kanae, how many times have I told you to stop!"
Hehehe, looks like Mizuno got hit.
But that girl is the weakest of the four heavenly kings... no, it was three, hahaha.
Oh well, but did she already throw up?
I wanted to enjoy it a little longer.
Due to the shout of Mizuno's soul, the venue begins to stir once again.
"Huh, an affair?"
"What does that mean...?"
Meanwhile, Takashi was still struggling in vain.
"Hey, Mizuno, calm down..."
"I am calm! What's wrong with you! Clean up your own affair mess yourselves! Don't involve me!"
Hmm, I can't help but agree so much that I'm losing my hair.
But sorry, you're my enemy too.
Just being a bystander doesn't mean innocence to me.
Planning to make a memorial video knowing about the affair, you're really underestimating me.
"Kanae, say something!"
In pursuit by Mizuno, Kanae finally screamed while covering her face.
"Ahhhh! I told you to stop! Taka-chan said this is the best!"
Ugh... What's this?
Everyone is just trying to save themselves.
Looking at this garbage like this, it's the best feeling, isn't it? But seriously. Even Mizuno, who knew about the affair beforehand, Kanae, and Takashi, none of them has the idea of apologizing to me in this situation.
Oh, did Kanae apologize? Got her butt slapped. Hahaha, delightful!
While keeping my true thoughts hidden, I played the role of a man with a bewildered smile.
"No, Kanae... You're overreacting, right? This is also a prank, isn't it?"
As I feigned confusion, Takashi rushed over.
"Tadayuki, it's a misunderstanding. Believe me, we'll talk later. We're best friends, right?"
Oh, truly the strongest of the Four Heavenly Kings. Is he planning to turn the tables from here?
Could it be that there are two more transformations left? But it's impossible!
"──PLEASE STOP ALREADY!"
With a scream, the 'assassin' I had prepared finally moved. The woman walked towards Takashi and me.
She bowed towards me.
"I'm sorry for using Higashimura-kun. I asked Mizuno-san, and I'm the one who made this video──it's me."
"Huh? Y-you..."
Now Takashi muttered in a daze. Well, this guy's reaction doesn't seem like acting!
Yes, this person is the assassin I had hidden in this place. A pawn prepared to crush everyone.
Takashi's wife──Kato Misa.
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