Volume 1 Chapter 62 The Truth About Mr. Lucian
Mr. Lucian was just looking down, letting me stroke his hair without saying anything.
"Mr. Lucian, are you okay? ...There are a lot of mushrooms. You can eat them all, I'll cook a lot... I can only do that much, though..."
"Thank you, Lydia. Your cooking... even when you were crying while making it, it somehow gave me strength, but now... it's so kind."
Mr. Lucian slowly ate the remaining grilled mushrooms.
I took my share and put it in my mouth.
The Takeri Matsutake was big, and when I bit into it, the good smell and rich flavor filled my mouth.
The texture was a bit soft and crunchy.
As I chewed, the mushroom soup oozed out.
The saltiness was just right, and it felt like the flavor soaked into my tired body after walking a lot and feeling scared.
"It's delicious, Mr. Lucian. Autumn really is the season for mushrooms. I think I'll make a new dish, rice balls with mushroom mixed rice... rice balls are tasty. Mushroom cream pie and quiche are good too, but I think rice balls are the best..."
While munching on the tip of the Takeri Matsutake, I said.
Maybe it wasn't the right time to talk about food, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
I couldn't force Mr. Lucian to talk about what he didn't want to.
I just hoped that eating would make Mr. Lucian feel a little better.
"Mr. Lucian... I'm glad you ate. When you're hungry, it makes you feel sad... Mr. Lucian, you came to have breakfast almost every day. So, um, I would be really happy if you could keep coming."
I feel like Mr. Lucian might go far away.
It feels like I might not be able to see him anymore.
I know I don't have the right to stop him, but I don't want Mr. Lucian to be in pain.
"Mr. Lucian, friends share the tough times. ...I'm your friend, Mr. Lucian. ...I hope you eat and feel better..."
"Can I also be Lydia's friend?"
"Y-yes, Mr. Lucian, um, is that... not okay? You helped me, and we cooked and ate mushrooms together, so we're friends."
"...Lydia. ...Just for now, a little bit, ...can I rely on you?"
I put down the stick with the eaten mushrooms and open my arms wide.
"Yes...! That's fine, um, when it's hard or painful, a hug makes me feel calm. Mr. Lucian, ...since we're friends, if you don't mind..."
"Ah. ...Lydia, ...you're small and warm."
Mr. Lucian hugged me, covering me with his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his broad back, feeling the hard muscles and bones.
I can't express it well with words, but being patted makes me feel calm.
This is about all I can do, but I still think it's better than doing nothing.
"...My fantasy began 6 months ago, when I saved you and took you to the restaurant. That was when I first had you cook for me."
Mr. Lucian said this softly, almost like he was talking to himself.
"What should I do? For the past 6 months, seeing your crying face, listening to your complaints, and then occasionally seeing your happy smile felt like being in a comforting fantasy. Before that, I felt like I was always in darkness, and nothing I ate had any taste. I was ruled by hatred and suffering, judging others only by whether I could use them or not."
"Mr. Lucian..."
It didn't sound like Mr. Lucian's words.
It felt so painful.
My own grudges seemed like childish complaints compared to how much Mr. Lucian was suffering. It felt like emotions were flowing into me from our overlapping skin, and my heart ached.
"Indeed, your cooking has a mysterious power. When I eat your food, I can remember the fun times we had together as if they were just yesterday. Lydia, I want to tell you everything."
"Y-yes... Mr. Lucian, if it's okay with me, please talk. I know that sharing your worries makes them half as heavy, that's what friends are for."
"Thank you. ...For now, is it okay to still be in this fantasy? ...Lydia, think of it as a confession and listen to me. ...I'm a liar. I've been deceiving everyone all along. ...I had to do it."
"Why...? Mr. Lucian, why...?"
"...I am, ...Lucian Kilkade. But my real name is, Lucis Anthem Kirschtein. ...I am a survivor of the Kirschtein Kingdom, which was destroyed 20 years ago."
"...the neighboring country,."
I learned about that in school.
Twenty years ago, King Zeere destroyed the small neighboring country, the Kirschtein Kingdom.
The Kirschtein Kingdom worshipped the red moon, Rubrum Lunne (Crimson Rose Garden), and was a country that believed in witches.
It is said that the witches, like Sylphina, who can control monsters, are trapped in the red moon.
This evil small country hated the Bernard Kingdom, which worshipped the white moon and Goddess Alexandria, and attacked it many times.
King Zeere, pained by this, started a large-scale war and pushed the Kirschtein Kingdom to its end.
He destroyed the royal family of Kirschtein and took over the kingdom, making it part of the Bernard Kingdom.
The teachers at school praised this as a great thing.
At that time, I thought that fighting was scary, but since it was a story from 20 years ago, I felt it was just a tale from the past.
"Ah. ...Twenty years ago, my country was destroyed by King Zeere. I was in the palace at that time, and I saw the people of the castle being brutally killed, along with my parents."
"Mr. Lucian... Mr...Lucis."
"Just Lucian is fine. No one calls me by my long name anymore."
"...So, Mr. Lucian was a prince and survived...?"
"Ah. I survived. Just me, alone. ...After that, I lived quietly, hiding in a town controlled by the people of the Bernard Kingdom. Eventually, ...the ones connected to the Kirschtein royal family gathered in one place and started looking for me. At that time, I was living a life I couldn't talk about with Lydia."
Mr. Lucian tightened his arms around me.
It was as if he was asking for help.
It felt like a drowning person desperately clinging to something.
"...What was in my heart was only a desire for revenge. And then, a sense of justice. ...I thought about getting revenge for my father, mother, and my little sister who was in my mother's womb when they were killed. I wanted to kill the cruel King Zeere. To do that, I had to get close. ...So, I hid my identity, changed my name, and took my current position."
"...But, Mr. Lucian, you're really working as the captain of the knights."
"Everything is a lie. ...Helping others, kind words, it's all to create a false version of myself. To gain trust. ...I approached you, Lydia, because I thought maybe I could bring you, someone who seemed abandoned by the Bernard royal family, to our side."
"I didn't see it that way."
"...Only when I'm with you. ...I could forget my position and my desire for revenge. ...When I eat your cooking, I remember the happy times from my childhood. It felt like my parents were smiling at me, telling me to stop seeking revenge."
Mr. Lucian isn't crying, but
it felt like he was.
However, the one who is actually crying is me.
When I think about the scene that 4-year-old Mr. Lucian saw 20 years ago, my heart aches.
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