Volume 3 Chapter 27 Holidays For Each： Lucian Kilkade ／ Lucis Anthem Kirschtein
Lucian had always thought it was better to be light and free.
For Lucian, who had been living as the leader of the Leonsroar Knights, pretending to be someone else, everything in the Kingdom of Bernard felt fake.
The real him only showed up when he returned to the Moon Soul Cult──well, maybe even that was a lie.
Both his role as the knight leader and as Prince Kirschtein felt like a mask.
Living with a desire for revenge was all he had.
Maybe that's why Lucian felt like he didn't have a true self.
His words felt empty, and everything seemed fake.
"Sir Lucian! Thank you for the other day...!"
While carrying a paper bag full of food, a young woman ran up to him.
Lucian smiled, trying to remember who she was.
"No need to thank me. Protecting people is what Leonsroar does."
Even formal words can feel real if you say them kindly with a smile.
In the past, he had built a strong image of himself as the knight leader who protected the townspeople, fooling everyone.
Now, he continued living that way to keep up the image.
"But I want to do something nice for you, Sir Lucian... um, how about we have a meal together?"
The young woman touched his free arm.
Lucian sighed inside.
He thought young women these days were quite bold. You shouldn't just touch a guy like that.
But he also understood that part of it was his fault.
Rumors spread that Knight Leader Lucian was a womanizer who flirted with all the women he helped. He knew his past behavior caused those rumors.
Lydia had misunderstood him too.
Now, he thought he needed to change his actions to clear up that misunderstanding.
Being kind to everyone was just part of playing the role of a knight leader who protects good people.
But right now, the only person who mattered to Lucian was Lydia.
He had no interest in other women, and while he had saved many from danger, he didn't remember their faces or names.
"Sorry, but I try not to have meals with anyone personally..."
"W-Why not? Other women have... with you..."
"That's probably a lie someone is spreading. I don't get involved personally with the people I help. I have to be fair to everyone. Helping people equally is what being a knight is all about."
"B-But... I admire you, Sir Lucian..."
"You should save those words for someone special. They shouldn't be for me."
He had been brushing off women who clung to him before.
He would chat with them and smile, but he kept them at a distance.
He never met anyone personally or had meals with them, and he never got into anything more.
But those actions led to the rumor that Lucian was a guy who flirted with everyone.
"If you're in trouble, I'll help you as the leader of Leonsroar. It doesn't matter if it's you or someone else. No one is special to me. I don't want to make anyone special."
"B-But you don't know that... If you got to know me, I could be special."
"My hands are already full with important things. There's no room for anyone else. And I don't like being touched by people too much. If I let that happen, I might end up getting attacked by someone I don't even like."
"...That's harsh."
The woman seemed to take Lucian's warning as an insult.
He remembered that he had saved her from some guys in an alley, and he sighed deeply again inside.
Lucian was used to touching men in a certain way.
Because of this, many people might misunderstand him.
"I'm sorry. Well then..."
He noticed that the woman's eyes were watery, but Lucian chose to walk away.
If it were the old Lucian, he wouldn't have said something like that.
He would have brushed her off casually, keeping things friendly, saying something like, "I have work" or "I'm busy, see you later," and moved away from her.
But that would just be the same as before.
If he acted like the usual charming Lucian, Lydia might give him a side-eye.
He found Lydia, whether she was angry or crying, to be cute, but he wanted her to see him as a sincere man who only had eyes for her.
It might be too late for that, though.
He thought about what was really important and what he wanted to protect the most. Even if his existence was built on lies, he didn't want to get that wrong.
He heard a woman behind him crying and saying things like "That's terrible" and "You're the worst," but Lucian didn't look back.
He didn't think he had done anything terrible or the worst, but he felt that women, except for one, could be quite troublesome.
Maybe if he had acted cold like Ciel or Roxas from the start, things wouldn't have turned out this way.
Ciel isn't cold, but he doesn't show much emotion in his voice and doesn't talk more than necessary, which makes him hard to approach for women.
Roxas is cold. No, he's strict with others.
If those 2 were in Lucian's shoes right now, what would they say?
Would they smile and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm busy, so I'll take my leave"? Or would they coldly say, "Someone like you shouldn't talk to me so casually"?
Rail──well, he wears a fox mask, so not many women would have the courage to invite him to dinner in the first place.
Having a stranger woman cry on his day off wasn't great.
Deep down, he felt that he shouldn't care, that he should be cold-hearted, and maybe that was his true self.
If the rumor got to Lydia that he made a woman cry, would she feel a bit jealous?
Or would she worry and say, "Mr. Lucian, you might get stabbed one day"?
Thinking about that made him feel a little amused.
When he remembered Lydia's face, her voice, her soft cheeks, and her nice hair, Lucian's heart warmed up, like a fire lighting up a cold, gloomy day.
"...I might run into Ciel in the evening, so I'll go deliver lunch tomorrow."
What should he make?
Something warm would be nice, he thought.
With that in mind, Lucian walked lightly toward the house in the south district that he hadn't told anyone about yet.
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