Volume 3 Chapter 46 Steaming Boiled Crab And Creamy Cheese Meat Pie
The winter sky gets dark really fast.
One moment, the sunset lights up the town in orange, and the next, it's getting dim. Before I know it, it's completely dark outside.
"Alright...!"
I put on the round sheep shawl that Sir Ciel gave me, grabbed the box with the meat pie, and wrapped 2 frozen crabs in a big cloth to drain the water before putting them in a bag. I stepped out of the Lobelia door.
Inside, my dad, Eir-Eir, and Ms. Famine were lined up nicely to see me off.
"I'm just going out for a bit. It's getting late, so everyone, listen to your dad and stay warm in bed."
"Pumpkin pudding!"
"Tarte Tatin..."
Eir-Eir bounced up and down with determined eyes, and Ms. Famine nodded seriously.
"Leave the kids to me. Be careful, Lydia. It's already getting dark outside."
"It's just a quick run to Sir Ciel's house, so I'll be fine. I'll run there."
"Be careful not to slip on the snow."
"Got it!"
I waved goodbye to everyone and headed to Sir Ciel's house.
My shoes crunched on the snow. My breath came out in white puffs. The cold air stung my cheeks and fingers.
Looking up at the clear sky, I saw thick snow clouds hanging above.
When I first started living here, Mx. Margaret told me many times, "Don't go outside at night. Lock the doors when it gets dark and stay inside. This town isn't that safe."
I don't like scary things, so I always locked the doors when it got dark and stayed inside.
This might be the first time I'm out at night.
It's still early, but the streetlights made from magic stones are flickering on.
Sir Ciel's house is about a 5-minute walk from my restaurant.
So, if I run, it'll take about 3 minutes.
As I hurried along, something cold hit my nose.
"Snow..."
I thought it might snow, and now it's starting.
I wonder why Sir Ciel went home.
(But I think I understand.)
We're friends, so there's no need to hold back.
(But still, I think I understand.)
It feels like looking at a warm room with a fire from far away.
I can't go into that warm room. I have my own room, but I was forgotten, so the warmth of my bed feels the same in summer and winter.
I gathered my blankets and curled up on my bed. But I can't just sleep all the time, so during the day, I wear warm clothes and wander around the Rest priest's house.
I watch the flames in the fireplace, the warmth from the magic stone stove, and the people laughing together in front of it.
I think it's nice and watch from a distance.
I feel envy, sadness, and loneliness. I can't go into that room──there's a feeling of rejection.
There's an invisible wall between my world and the warm room with the fireplace.
That's why I can't go in.
If I go in──everyone would feel uncomfortable.
"...Sir Ciel!"
There's no one on the dark road anymore.
The snow that started falling piled up a little on my shoulders and head.
When I reached Sir Ciel's house, I knocked on the door hard. I couldn't hold back.
Because I'm Sir Ciel's friend.
When I feel lonely, I shouldn't be alone. ──That's not right.
Sir Ciel might not feel lonely. He's much older than me, so he might not have those feelings. But still.
But──still, I don't like it.
"Sir Ciel! I know you're in there, come out! You're completely surrounded by me!"
While banging on the door, I called out loudly for Sir Ciel.
"Ms. Lydia, ...what's wrong? It's already dark outside. Why did you come? It's dangerous."
The door opened quickly from the inside.
Sir Ciel's eyes went wide in surprise as he said something that felt like a scolding.
The inside of the door was kind of dark. Even in the dim light, Sir Ciel's hair sparkled like jewels.
He wore a black long-sleeve shirt with a neck opening and slim black pants.
He looked underdressed and cold, and I couldn't help but feel a bit angry.
"Sir Ciel, the meat pie was cold...!"
"The meat pie...?"
"Yes! The meat pie is hard as a rock. It's frozen and I can't eat it...!"
"Alright, just come inside."
"Sir Ciel, the crab is frozen too. It's frozen crab. Crab, you know, crab!"
"Crab, huh..."
I looked up at the tall Sir Ciel, glaring at him while pushing the meat pie and crab towards him.
As usual, Sir Ciel stayed calm and took the box of meat pie and the bag of crab.
"...Ms. Lydia, you have snow on your head. It must have been cold."
"It was cold. Your house is cold too. It's as cold as a freezer...!"
Since Sir Ciel let me in, I stepped inside without holding back.
"It's cold, Sir Ciel, really cold... Why don't you warm it up? And it's dark, too. It's darker and messier than before. Sir Ciel...!"
As soon as I walked in, I found the living room.
There was only one magic stone lamp on, and the room had a leather sofa, some strange tools, materials, and a huge pile of books everywhere.
The big living room connected to the dining area, but there were also a lot of things cluttered there, and the kitchen was completely filled with stuff.
"I'm sorry, ...I didn't need this, so I thought I'd return it?"
"Of course it's you, Sir Ciel. You came to deliver dinner in the evening, right? And then you left the meat pie behind. The frozen meat pie incident. What a waste of a good meat pie..."
"I thought it would be fine to leave it outside in this temperature. ...I thought you might want it for tomorrow's meal, so I left it... Was it a bother?"
"It wasn't a bother, I didn't not want it. Why do you think that? Why didn't you come inside...?"
The room was cold, dark, and there was nowhere to sit or cook.
Sir Ciel was just like always, saying he didn't need the meat pie he brought.
I felt really sad, and my nose started to tingle.
I bit my lip to hold back my tears, but they started to fall anyway.
"Ugh..."
"...Ms. Lydia. ...I'm sorry. Shall we go upstairs? It's a bit tidier there."
I followed Sir Ciel, who was holding the meat pie box and crab bag, as he led me upstairs.
There was a small kitchen upstairs too. He put the meat pie and crab there and looked around the room, which had nothing but the kitchen──really nothing, not even a table or chairs──and sighed deeply.
Then he took me to another room.
It had a simple bed, a bottle of water, and a box with some solid food bags thrown inside, plus a closet.
In other words, there was almost nothing.
"Sir Ciel, this room is cold... Ugh, you live in a freezer, Sir Ciel... I'll tell Mr. Leavis about this...! You promised to eat properly with me..."
"...I'm sorry. Please don't cry, Ms. Lydia. When you cry, I... I don't know what to do..."
Sir Ciel sat me on the bed and knelt in front of me.
In the dim room, a soft light started to glow. Little glowing orbs floated around. It must be Sir Ciel's magic light.
This room didn't even have a magic stone lamp.
The blanket was thin. Sir Ciel really underestimated snowy days.
"...I'm angry."
His ruby-like eyes, filled with confusion, looked into mine.
In Sir Ciel's eyes, I saw myself with tears welling up, my cheeks flushed, and my brows furrowed.
Sir Ciel, you went home... Sir Ciel, you promised to come every day. I totally forgot about that... You brought me food. You came to check on me. ...You promised not to cook until Sunday. I broke that promise...
Sir Ciel really worried about my health.
I broke my promise and cooked, and then I forgot that Sir Ciel was coming, so we all ate together.
If I had been more careful, I might have noticed when Sir Ciel came.
I got so excited about making a lot of friends.
I feel so bad.
"...That's not something you should feel sorry for. ...I should be the one apologizing. I didn't want to interrupt your time with His Highness or the princess. ...But still, I acted in a way that left signs of my visit. Because of that, I made you worry unnecessarily."
"Sir Ciel!"
I tightly held Sir Ciel's hands that were looking at me.
They're so cold. Much colder than mine after walking in the snow.
"Please, be honest. Sir Ciel always cares a lot about many things. You hold back so much."
"That's not true."
"It is true...! Please say it. Sir Ciel, get mad at me for breaking my promise. And then... then tell me you felt lonely. If I were you, I would definitely feel very lonely..."
"I'm..."
Sir Ciel looked down. Then, he frowned deeply.
He looked like he was in pain. I might have never seen Sir Ciel like this before.
"I always thought I had no feelings. ...Everything about me felt like it was someone else's problem. It felt like there was a thin barrier between me and the world. ...I thought it was because my heart was made of stone. My blood must be cold too. That's what I believed."
Sir Ciel spoke slowly, looking a bit confused.
"But since I met you, and felt your warm hands and the kindness in your cooking... I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I understand in my head what the right thing is. But... something deep inside my chest is always creaking."
"Is that... a bad thing for you, Sir Ciel?"
"No, it's not bad. ...I feel pathetic. I left signs of my visit at your house. And I'm happy that you came here. ...Like a little kid throwing a tantrum, wanting attention."
"Is that a bad thing? Wanting attention is normal, right? I want attention too. I'm happy when you come to my restaurant. I'm really happy that you worry about me. It's the same."
"...Ms. Lydia. ...But..."
"Sir Ciel is happy that I came here, right?"
"...Yes."
"Good. I was worried you might think I was a bother. I was scared you might find me annoying. I'm the same as you. ...But I don't want to not see you anymore. So, I came here. I gathered my courage. Getting a little mad gives me some courage."
Our hands, still connected, started to feel warm.
My hand is cold, and Sir Ciel's hand is cold too, but when we hold hands, it feels warm.
"...Sir Ciel, you always had feelings. ...When there are many sad things, your heart gets tired, right? It feels like you can't feel anything."
Sir Ciel must have been lonely.
Just like me.
Always alone in the Margrave house. Getting used to the cold, not having food, being mocked, and feeling pain.
Getting used to it all──his heart must be tired.
"...I feel happy when Sir Ciel is having fun, getting angry, or feeling sad. I'm also happy when the food is delicious and when someone takes care of me."
"...It seems really hard to take care of myself."
"Then I will take care of you, Sir Ciel. ...Shall we eat? I brought some crab. The meat pie will taste great if we heat it up. With Sir Ciel's magic, we can eat it right away. Let's eat together? I ran here, so I'm really hungry. Both the crab and the meat pie are so tasty that I could eat a lot of them."
"...Ms. Lydia. ...Thank you."
Sir Ciel said this and pulled my hand.
He hugged me tightly.
Even though Sir Ciel is much bigger, it felt like a small child asking for help.
I wrapped my arms around Sir Ciel's back and gently stroked his wide back.
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