Volume 3 Chapter 9 Memories Of Famine
Famine ate the tarte tatin apples with a small mouth, munching away. Her dazed eyes focused and stared at me.
"...Tarte Tatin."
"It's Tarte Tatin, Famine. Is it delicious...? There's plenty, so please eat a lot."
"Pumpkin pudding!"
"Apples, delicious."
Eir-Eir and Francois were happily eating the leftover tarte tatin.
Sir Stefan looked at me and Famine with a serious expression.
As Famine opened her mouth, I gently placed a piece of tarte tatin inside.
The slice of tarte tatin disappeared in no time.
Famine blinked her bright red eyes once, then floated up lightly.
"Lydia, over here."
Sir Stefan was trying to protect me.
I shook my head to say I was okay and opened my arms toward Famine.
Famine, who had turned into a half-golden cat, curled up in my arms.
Her rough tongue licked my cheek.
Then, Famine's form turned into sparkling particles and disappeared somewhere.
I closed my eyes and hugged my body.
Famine was inside me.
A lonely feeling spread throughout my chest.
'Tarte Tatin... it was delicious. It had a very gentle taste, just like you.'
A soft, slightly lazy voice echoed in my head.
A scene unfolded behind my closed eyelids.
──Mother loves only me.
In the red prison that spread around me, I thought proudly as I looked at my own form, created after the failed Eiris.
I am──I am Famine.
The witch's daughter who controls hunger.
The second daughter of Mother Sylphina.
'But that was my misunderstanding.'
It was painful, hurtful, tough, sad.
The emotions flowing from Mother Sylphina were everything to me.
Jealous.
I envied the saint. I missed her, loved her, and felt sad.
I missed my child, the gem person.
Mother only loved the gem person. If I try hard enough, maybe Mother will notice me.
Maybe she will love me.
Suddenly, I realized I had fallen in a dirty, damp-smelling place that was not the red prison of the moon.
As I opened my eyes to the dull pain and the shock of my body hitting the wall, there was a man.
"Did you come looking for food, stray cat? There's nothing for you to eat here. You're a pitiful, dirty cat. Get lost."
The man kicked me, slammed me against the wall, and trampled on me.
"I am... I am beautiful, more beautiful than anyone, Mother's daughter...!"
I bit into the man's throat who was trampling me.
My hunger was being satisfied. But it was still not enough. I had to fulfill Mother's wishes. I needed to be recognized by her, to be loved.
I wanted to be loved. I would take the place of the saint.
I would get the man who abandoned Mother, and I would become the saint.
"...Not enough, not enough, still, not enough."
I transformed into a human.
When I stepped out of the dark alley, it was a town that sparkled even at night.
In the glass windows of the shining buildings, I saw my reflection, looking just like Mother.
I needed to gain power. I needed to understand this world.
Humans are violent, cruel, and the worst creatures, so I had to move carefully.
I entered the largest building in the town.
I thought the beautiful building would be a beautiful place, but it was filled with desire and sadness.
(The man betrays the woman. Those words are lies. A one-night lie. This is a prison; no one will help.)
On the top floor of the high-class brōtḥel Iblis, I learned about humans.
In that place filled with sadness and hatred, jealousy and sorrow, I searched for what I needed to do.
The humans who came here taught me everything.
About the royal family, about the Rest priest family. Stories of the saint, stories of the witch.
It was completely different from the memories of Mother Sylphina that I knew.
But if I became the saint──if I, the daughter of Mother, became the saint, surely Mother would be proud.
If I do that, I can surely save Sylphina's mother from that prison of suffering.
"I will take everything in place of my mother. Wait for me, Mother."
On the Red Moon, there is no sense of time.
I realized that a considerable amount of time had passed since I came down to the ground, but I didn't want to fail.
I have to be the most excellent among the four sisters.
If I don't, Mother won't love me.
Eventually, someone told me that a daughter had been born to the Rest family.
That daughter might be a saint.
But an infant can't speak. A mother would know that.
So I kidnapped her mother. But the mother of the saint said nothing.
Then I tried to see her memories by eating her, but the woman's heart was closed, and I couldn't see her memories.
I was impressed that such a thing was possible.
So I stopped melting her. I won't kill a mother who loves her child.
The next person to appear before me was the woman's husband.
The man who called himself Head Priest was strong, but I was stronger.
The man also knew nothing about the saint, so I decided to pair the woman I had placed under my control, who was said to be the second most beautiful after me, with the man.
To infiltrate the Rest family and investigate the saint. To obtain that power, I said.
(But everything went wrong.)
Everyone tried to protect the ones they loved.
No one will protect me. I can't trust anyone. No one loves me.
I want to be loved. I want to be loved.
By someone. By someone... by Sylphina, my mother.
"...Lydia. You're the only one who made me a meal with love."
"...Ms. Famine."
Somewhat indifferent, somewhat sad, and somewhat listless.
But her voice was filled with sadness.
"I'll show you my memories. You need to know what happened to your mother."
My consciousness becomes hazy again.
It was a place like a garden.
In the beautiful garden filled with blooming flowers, a man resembling Sir Stefan──God Theobart, and a woman with black, graceful hair, were talking affectionately.
I watched them from afar.
Just a moment ago, my world was beautifully shining.
It was filled with love, and I was happy.
But the happiness I thought would last forever was easily shattered.
The goddess appeared.
Goddess Alexandria.
She fell from the White Moon and stole God Theobart's heart.
God Theobart became obsessed with the goddess, as if he had forgotten me.
"Goddess Alexandria is a very important person who will bring peace and tranquility to this country. We must treat her with care."
God Theobart said that to me as if he was advising me.
And──he soon stopped paying attention to me, and now he only sees Alexandria.
I envy her.
I envy Alexandria, who stole God Theobart's heart just because she was a goddess and had the mysterious power to heal everyone.
I hate her.
I'm sad.
I want to disappear.
But I can't.
Because I have...
"Lydia...!"
I hear a voice calling me.
I'm on the floor of Robelia's kitchen, being held by Sir Stefan.
"Sir Stefan..."
I was so sad that tears fell.
Then my consciousness sank into a deep sleep.
I heard Francois, Eir-Eir, and Sir Stefan calling me from afar.
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