Volume 2 Chapter 35 Abnormal Situation
Got it! Here's the same story with full wording intact but rewritten to fit a more comedic, US-style tone:
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### Boss Battle: Now With Extra Claws!
Normally, the Floor Boss of the Upper Floors is a terrifying creature called the Giant Coconut Crab. A massive, monstrous crustacean. Very on-brand for this dungeon.
But instead of a giant crab, standing before me was something much weirder—
A Talking Monster.
Like the previous Talking Monster Baron, this one had a humanoid shape.
Its total height was around 150 centimeters—not exactly towering—but its hands were unnaturally massive claws.
Like, picture a guy with normal arms, but then replace his hands with full-sized coconut crab claws. That's what I was dealing with.
And, of course, the moment this thing realized I was Omega, it immediately tried to murder me.
"Whoa—!"
The Talking Monster slammed its giant claws into the ground where I had just been standing, leaving a 50-centimeter depression.
For context, 50 centimeters is a pretty deep hole. That's the kind of hole you dig when you really want to make sure the fence stays up.
"""""OMEGA-KUN-SAMAAAA!!!!!"""""
"Ah, it's fine, no worries."
Valkyrie and Just a Bit Strong-san (who I had finally shortened to 'Just a Bit'-san for my own sanity) freaked out at the surprise attack, but I casually waved it off like someone had just dropped a spoon.
Still...
"Why are you—a Talking Monster—acting as the Floor Boss of the Upper Floors?"
I directed the question at the clawed menace.
'Orders from superior. Superior's orders, absolute.'
Oof.
That is peak corporate suffering right there.
Actually, now that I thought about it, this Talking Monster's speech pattern was weirdly stiff. Almost... mechanical?
Like...
"A robot...?"
That was the vibe I was getting.
At that moment, Just a Bit-san strolled over.
"Omega, you okay, yeah?"
"Just a Bit-san!"
"What's up, yeah?"
"Are all the Talking Monsters in this Ryukyu Dungeon... like robots (you know, like that)?"
"Nah, there are some like that, but they're the weaker ones among the Talking Monsters. You can tell by that robot-like speech pattern, yeah. The strong ones are like the Talking Monster Baron you fought before, Omega."
"Hmm."
So even Talking Monsters have some kind of ranking system.
Great. What's next? A Talking Monster Union? A Talking Monster HR Department?
"Well... it's the first time we've seen a weak individual from the Upper Floors, and even more so, it's the first time a Talking Monster has been waiting like a Floor Boss. What's going on here?"
Just a Bit-san scratched his head, looking just as confused as I was.
"By the way, what's this one's name?"
Before Just a Bit-san could answer, the Talking Monster dramatically declared:
'My name is Shisaku No. 10. I was born to kill humans...'
And then it immediately swung its massive pincers at us again.
However.
CRASHHHH!
Those giant pincers? Absolutely demolished with a single punch from Just a Bit-san's bare hands.
---
"For now, leave it to me!"
Just a Bit-san stepped in front of me, positioning himself between me and Shisaku No. 10 like a hero in an action movie.
The plan was originally for us to fight together, but—
"Omega just arrived in Okinawa, and we hadn't planned to confront a Talking Monster, so I'll handle this alone. Once this is over, I'll head back to the hotel to check the situation and report."
Since Just a Bit-san was volunteering to solo this fight, I graciously accepted.
I mean, free entertainment, right?
Still, something about this Shisaku No. 10 bothered me.
The name.
Shisaku No. 10.
...Does that mean it's Prototype No. 10?
If so, that would make it an artificial creation, which means Empress Mare must have created it...
But wait.
Was she really that smart?
I mean, no offense to Empress Mare, but she always struck me as more of a punch-first, think-never type.
So if she didn't make this thing...
Who did?
"...A person in white robes."
Now that I thought about it, Sakurako-tan mentioned seeing someone like that standing next to Empress Mare.
Could that mysterious figure in white be the one who created these weird Talking Monsters...?
...Wait. I had zero evidence to back that up.
Okay, never mind. That's going in the Future Problems folder.
For now, I focused on the fight between Just a Bit-san and Shisaku No. 10.
"Uryahhh!"
Bammmm...!
Shisaku No. 10 lunged forward with surprising agility, even mixing in a feint. But Just a Bit-san had completely read its movements, like he had the game guide open in front of him.
The moment the monster launched its scissor attack, Just a Bit-san threw a barehanded left straight punch—
And completely destroyed the attack in one blow.
Then, using the momentum from the punch, he spun and leapt into the air.
"Lightspeed Kick──!"
"!?"
As he spun, his entire body started glowing blue.
Then, as if someone had hit the fast-forward button, his kick accelerated at insane speed and pierced straight through Shisaku No.10's torso.
"Gruhh... Guhhh..."
Shisaku No.10, now sporting a brand new hole in its body, staggered forward, collapsed, and then—
Disintegrated into a magic stone about the size of an orange.
And just like that.
Just a Bit-san effortlessly deleted Shisaku No. 10.
I stared at the aftermath.
"...Well, that was anticlimactic."
At least I didn't have to do any of the work.
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