Chapter 15 Dream
In front of me, a pool of blood spreads, the stench of death overwhelming.
I should be used to the smell by now, but I can't stop the nausea from rising.
The deep green uniform at my feet is stained black with blood on the belly, and the blood coughed up from my mouth has dirtied a white neck.
I'm panicking, trying to cast healing magic, waving my hands, but she catches my arm with a weak, bloodied hand.
Her coldness makes me shiver even more.
"...Even you can't do anything. Better to conserve your strength."
"Don't say that! I'll definitely help you."
I ignore her and activate the healing magic.
But it doesn't close her wounds at all.
I know she's losing too much blood.
But I can't just stand by and do nothing.
"Come on. You should listen to your elders sometimes."
"Cut it out! I'm your superior!"
Then, as her breathing grows more and more faint, she speaks.
"...I can't speak anymore. Lend me your ear. I forgot to tell you something very important."
"What?"
I quickly lift her up and press my ear to her lips.
In a barely audible, breathy whisper, she says,
"Tsukumo, I love you... I'm sorry."
Even though she shouldn't have any strength left, she wraps her arms around my neck and lifts her body for a moment.
Something soft touches my cheek.
I realize her blood has covered the freckle she always jokes about.
She smiles in satisfaction at my shocked expression, closes her eyes, and her arm, which has lost its strength, feels like it takes forever to let go──then she never moves again.
* * *
My body feels heavy.
My throat is dry.
It's like this every time I fall.
Nearby, I can hear someone talking, and as my consciousness clears, I start to make out the words.
"──And then, the senior joined the front lines of the extermination squad. He always came back covered in blood. Well, it was mostly other people's blood, though."
I can't even move my head, so all I can see is the ceiling, but it sounds like Thomas is telling Yuruyana about my active duty days.
Yuruyana must have been shocked when I collapsed, so it's a help that Thomas is explaining things instead of me.
But Thomas's explanation sounds a bit too much like a heroic tale, and it bugs me.
"He was looking for revenge for the fallen senior?"
"Maybe that was part of it... but it was more like he was just looking for a place to die. Since he was so good, he kept getting called out, and if he said he was going, there was no stopping him."
I knew lots of people worried about him.
Even so, it seemed like if he didn't keep doing something, he'd lose his mind.
"So all that big badass action ended up with him as a [Two Star Demon], huh."
"Seriously, you guys were acting way more like demons than him."
Human trafficking, crazy experiments, plotting wars with other countries...
There's stuff Yuruyana can't even talk about.
"In the end, like Mr. Yuruyana said, he found the enemy, and almost all by himself crushed the organization backing them. But on the way back, he just suddenly dropped."
I don't remember much from that time.
I do remember waking up 2 days after the last mission.
After hearing everything, Yuruyana let out a deep sigh.
"And it's been like this ever since? You should've told me if you were gonna have attacks."
"Can't help it, I'd been fine lately."
I finally got my voice back and tried to join the talk, but Thomas jumped up so fast he blew his chair back.
"Senpai!"
"Stop!"
He almost fell on me when I couldn't move yet, but Yuruyana ordered him to freeze, and he stopped right there.
"So he stops even when it's not my voice...…)
I was glad I didn't get crushed waking up, but as the former captain, it felt weird.
Even Thomas looked confused.
"I just felt like I had to stop."
"Yeah, good boy."
Treating him like a dog now.
But Yuruyana can't reach Thomas's head since he's tall, so the pat was on his back.
"Want some water?"
"Yeah."
Though I still felt cold and numb, I could move my arms and legs a bit. Thomas helped me sit up, and he handed me a cup of room-temp water.
Even though I caused trouble, they were taking such good care of me.
"If it was that bad, the army doctor should've seen you. Couldn't they at least give you some sleeping pills?"
"At first they helped a bit, but over time, they stopped working."
"Ah…"
Arcane medicine is expensive, so I gave up when they said I'd have to pay out of pocket if I wanted to use it.
Yuruyana drooped his head like he wanted to say, "I figured as much."
Holding the cup with both hands to avoid dropping it, I carefully wet my mouth, and Thomas started rubbing my back slowly as he said,
"When our senior quit, we got yelled at from all sides for not stopping him."
"Huh? That was clearly a 'you should quit' vibe, right?"
"No way! I just really wanted him to take a break. He was out on the front lines and doing machine maintenance, obviously overworking himself."
Hearing that, Yuruyana shrugged.
"I thought so. A military always short on manpower wouldn't easily let go of an Arcanist, who are hard to come by."
Everyone was saying to take a break with such exasperation that I thought they were just trying to get rid of a rookie officer who was being too pushy.
"But I regret it. We relied on our senior way too much."
"Not really. He was doing what he wanted to do."
I didn't mind being recognized for what I could do or being relied on.
I just kept thinking that maybe I could have done better back then, that there was a way she didn't have to die, and that's why I just collapsed.
It wasn't Thomas and the others' fault.
"Honestly, I was hoping he'd come back, but looking at the current situation, I can't say that…"
After confirming the cup was empty, Thomas stood up.
"From now on, I'll support whatever our senior wants to do."
"Huh…"
"This is the little shop your grandpa used to run, right? You said you wanted to take it over."
"Yeah, exactly! I've been saying that for a while now."
Yuruyana jumped in right away.
You just want to put your stuff in the shop, don't you?
"You should just do it. You can finally do what you like without anyone ordering you around."
I'm really bad at deciding things for myself.
Just being told something so casually makes me want to go along with it right away.
"If you open a shop, everyone will be happy to come buy from you."
"Even if I collapse, I'll watch the shop, so don't worry."
If a bunch of strong guys hang around, the shop might get cramped.
But if that future comes true, it would definitely be fun.
"...I'll think about it."
"Alright!"
When I showed my super vague but positive intention, Yuruyana made a face like he had already decided and tightly clenched his fist with joy.
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