[Part 3/4]
"I won't cast out anyone who doesn't want to leave, okay?"
"It's selfish, but people can't trust without clear actions. And... I know you act tough, but a lot of you are surprisingly lonely."
She offers a piece of salmon, opens her mouth for me to take it, chews, then swallows.
"Maybe we just need to comfort each other... Is that enough?"
From what I see, everyone seems happy and playing together... but am I seeing things? Am I blind?
"Three girls together can be loud. It doesn't mean they don't get along or that they're bad girls. They're like sisters-in-law, and I think it's important. But... Master, you should take the lead and keep them in line. We're all equal in essence."
"You mean, like having a sense of leadership as master?"
"I'd say like being the head of a pack."
"Hmm, that sounds kinda animalistic."
"So, like the owner, maybe?"
"Is it getting worse...?"
I thought that sounded a bit too playful. The girls at the 'Yashiki estate' aren't dogs.
"Actually, maybe you should think that way. The younger girls are a bit much. Yelling, hitting──Master should discipline them thoroughly at least once..."
"That's a pretty extreme suggestion."
I respond by biting into a rice ball with cod roe. Kuzu isn't foolish, but she's strict. I show my reluctance.
(Said in a way to make one cry)
While it's a baby's job to cry, then a child's job must be to make noise and laugh. Not that scolding is bad, but I think intervening in such behavior is overdoing it.
And yet, after enduring such harsh days 'out there,' to be made to feel the same way in this 'estate' is just deplorable.
"I understand Master's concerns, but this is unwarranted worry. If I may speak candidly, it's this unnecessary worrying that creates conflict with everyone."
"Won't that make you hated? Even by your own mother?"
"No way! The Amatsuru children are well aware of right from wrong. They are too young to harbor any ill will towards Master. They aren't that foolish."
She says this with a calm face, sipping tea from the canteen. I notice it's the one I drank from, delayed.
"...Pretty bold of you to drink from Master's canteen without permission, huh?"
The questioning of Kuzu was malicious. It was I who suggested sharing the meal, and there was only one canteen filled with barley tea. To reprimand him like this is unreasonable, and it's presumptuous. It was more of an attack aiming to instruct... her.
"...I apologize, Master. I will return it right away."
"That's not enough. I want you to refill the tea you drank immediately. And of course, don't you dare spit it out?"
In response to the apology, I deliberately scold, trying to make things difficult with an unreasonable demand.
"..."
Kuzu glances over at me...
"...I regret to say I cannot comply with your request. I will accept any punishment, so please inform me of your decision."
The polite declaration made with a lowered head disappointed me, as I was hoping for a look of panic. So, I take it one step further.
"Punishment, huh?.. Like what?"
"Whether it's a slap to the cheek, a punch to the face, a kick to the stomach, or even having my neck strangled, or any further abuse... I will gladly accept it."
"...Are you serious?"
"If you doubt me, I can show you now."
"..."
Calmly staring this way, peering into the depths of Kuzu's eyes, I felt a bit scared. It was different in direction from Amatsuru who was eagerly offering to take the girls' place, but the nature was the same.
A resolve without deceit. If ordered, I'm certain I'd accept everything without resistance or hesitation. No matter how much pain is inflicted, no matter how much I'm demeaned, I'd acknowledge it as natural and still do my best. It's made painfully clear to me... as if I could grasp it, I understand...
"...Please, do you really think I'd do it?"
"Wouldn't it be fine to try it and see? You might find it unexpectedly enjoyable, both as discipline and for fun."
"As discipline, even a rabbit or a horn, that's a pretty twisted hobby, isn't it?"
"It wouldn't be proper to think Master's actions have bad taste. We must accept and humbly welcome Master's wild behavior; there is no other way."
"That's not something a god would do."
A wild spirit, a wild god, all that the gods do is good... Accepting all actions, merely comforting and forgiving, was how one dealt with the ancient gods. How it was that humans were powerless, meaningless, and worthless. It's a slave mentality. Even when dealing with the gods, such is the case, it's too humble a way to be with just a 'Boss'.
"Come to think of it... was my pleasure your pleasure?"
"Ours, it is."
"Put me in a position to be revered."
It might not be a test, but it's not something you can just shake off either. It's not as easy as you'd think to treat someone mercilessly for your own enjoyment, especially if you care about them.
"Then what about loyalty?"
Kuzu immediately retorted against my doubts and discontent. But loyalty?
"Loyalty to being welcomed into the 'estate'?"
"It's not just that... You may not remember, Master."
And then, smoothly approaching, Kuzu climbed onto my lap, scratching the floor cushion, and touched my kimono, feeling the warmth of her exposed skin.
"...Kuzu?"
"My apologies."
Briefly spoken, Kuzu stripped my chest bare. I scowled at the body laid bare to the outside air, riddled with unbearable scars, especially when compared to Kuzu's smooth, soft, pale skin.
"What are..."
"These scars."
"Hm?"
Shivering at the touch of fingers tracing a scar on my body. A moment later, I realize she's outlining one of the marks etched into me. I meet Kuzu's gaze. With a smile, she touches another scar.
"This one... and this. And this burned skin."
One by one, she touches various scars. What could it all mean?
"These are the injuries Master sustained when my foolish idea put everyone in danger."
"I don't know..."
"I remember them."
With a sudden press, she leans in closer, her cheek against my chest plate. Her breath strokes the hard skin. Looking up at me with a dazed gaze, I involuntarily hold my breath.
"I was a foolish girl. Acting smart, nearly getting everyone killed... Master saved me, and now I've only added to my injuries. I'm filled with shame."
"It's not like that..."
I were about to say I surely didn't think that, but my words trailed off due to the indescribable sensation in my lower abdomen. She slowly swayed her hips, the friction sparking a throbbing emotion. It was hot—a heat building up. When I looked at her, she smiled, and it felt like she was toying with me.
"...."
"Mmm...♪"
Almost unconsciously, I gripped her hips with both hands. My nails dug deep into her tightly fitted black undergarment, biting into her flesh. I coldly looked down on her confident facade. I thought she needed discipline for defying and arguing with me.
"I'll let mine slide, but you need punishment for everyone else's sake. ...Did I do something?"
"...Nothing."
"That's not good."
"Yes."
It was her own words. Punishment was necessary.
"This is proper discipline, and at the same time, a show of sincerity for the debt I owe. Loyalty... so there's no need to worry about anything. Rather, by all means, follow your instincts... ah."
She was pushed down before she could finish speaking. Her body was pressed between her thighs, her buttocks firmly grasped, and she was hung up. The top and bottom became clear. I look at her skin. It's spotless. So different from mine. Defiant.
"I don't like that skin..."
"Then, how about?"
"If it's a shallow wound, shouldn't it be shown to everyone until it heals?"
"...If so, what about us?"
Kuzu licked her lips as her white hand reached down to the lower abdomen. She repeatedly caressed the surface of the silken fabric over the groin and below, as if cherishing a pouch.
"It could be..."
I knew. I noticed. The servants all knew that their bodies were different from mine. That I was missing something that they, as caretakers, had. I felt a sense of alienation, but now, it's convenient. After all...
"If it's missing from the start, it won't get too hurt... right?"
"But... are you sure you want to tear it?"
The nails dig deeper into the hips through the black slip. The fabric isn't cheap, nor is the costume. But if you're going to punish, then it's only right it gets torn to shreds. I look down and ask. This is a ritual, and the act itself is a punishment. Anyway, the decision has already been made.
"Heh heh..."
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!