Chapter 204-2
"Ah!"
"Ah...♪"
I almost shook her off by reflex. Then the strong thought of hitting her flashed through my mind. But somehow, before I could refuse it, I found myself pulling Nagi close and holding her tight. Even though several others were already clinging to me, Nagi pressed against me as if pushing them away.
"This is..."
"I don't mind when Master gets rough with me, you know? Hehe... I want it more♪"
She pressed her chest against mine, wrapped her arms around my neck, and hung on like a little weight. Then, looking around with a proud smile as if to show she had won, she whispered softly into my ear, almost like she was begging.
"Nagi-san, that's unfair!"
"Master, you can't show favorites, you know?"
"Yes! Please love us too!"
"Fairness, fairness...!!"
"Master? Please let us take turns being spoiled?"
"Ah, no..."
The maids were noisy and lively, cutting me off before I could speak. One after another, they crowded close, teasing me. Without any chance to refuse, I was soon buried in soft, warm flesh. My hands, which tried to resist, were also wrapped by unknown softness.
Soft. Soft. Warm. Warm...
"It's hard and rough, right? You can leave anytime you want, you know?"
I spoke more to the group than to Nagi, but my voice was weak and broken by the melting feeling that was taking over me. My head felt dizzy—not from the hot water, but from something else.
"...?"
Hearing my words, the maids all looked confused. Then, a little late, they giggled quietly. They glanced at each other, then at me, as if I were some kind of joke. Nagi rubbed herself against me with full effort, as if soaking up my scent. She pressed her cheek to my neck and spoke for them all.
"It's not that I don't like it hard, you know? Big, thick, rough, and hot... it's strong and wonderful, isn't it? Besides..."
Her words sounded like she was saying something else. I was about to point that out when she hugged me tight and buried her face in mine.
"And... it's much better than a stinky pig."
"..."
Her calm and quiet voice was different from the usual bright Nagi. The mood became strangely quiet and scary. Looking around, I saw the maids with sad, hard-to-describe faces—something I never saw before. Even though the water was warm, I felt a chill down my spine.
"..."
The long-held feelings inside me—the urge to push everyone away, to scold them, or just brush them off and leave the bath quickly—vanished. I didn't want to do any of that.
Instead, I thought I should do my duty as their leader. I should be their strong pillar. What was I thinking?
"..."
"Hehe..."
"Master...♪"
I couldn't understand this strange sense of duty. I was too busy holding back a wild passion, doing just enough to support the laughing maids.
Like an idol being adored and clung to by people struggling in a hard world, I stayed there, endlessly surrounding and serving them until I was full.
* * *
Questions kept swirling in my mind, but I couldn't say any of them out loud. I hesitated to share all these feelings with the maids who clung to me and gave me their loyalty.
I felt anxiety, irritation, and doubt all piling up inside. I reached out blindly, not knowing how to solve anything.
I tried taking long naps. I tried eating sweets, spicy foods, fine meals, and drinking too much. I tried playing games and reading to reflect on myself. I tried art, but without focus or heart, I gave up. I wasted time without a plan.
One day, by chance, I found something. Not knowing how to handle my restless feelings, I wandered the mansion. Then my eyes landed on it.
I had never thought about it before. I didn't even know it existed. But when I picked it up, thinking about a dream that stayed in my mind, it felt right... and before I knew it, I was holding it.
"Haah! Ha!!"
The wind cut by the spear. The sound of stomping feet on the floor. The sharp shout I made echoed around.
In the dojo-like building, I wildly swung one of the decorated spears on the wall. A spear dance, but not a graceful one. Fierce and breathless, I kept waving the sharp tip. Then I stopped.
"Hah... hah... hah..."
With fast, strong moves, I was soaked in sweat before I noticed. My heart felt like it would burst. Tasting iron, I took deep breaths.
"Hah... maybe I have some talent? Just kidding."
Wiping sweat from my forehead, I felt proud of my first try. Maybe it was just luck. Maybe anyone could do this much. Since no one watched, I tried to show off. Still...
"This is perfect for letting out frustration."
What to scatter? My irritation, my bottled-up anger, and my hard-to-name feelings. I swung the spear hard, sweating a lot. As I got tired, my mixed feelings eased, and my mind became clear. That was what I wanted most in that moment.
If I didn't release these twisted feelings, I had no idea what I might do to the maids.
"Besides, it might be good for self-defense, right?"
I swung the spear again, making an excuse. But after saying it, I wondered what I really meant. Self-defense? Against what? I knew the answer. Kuzu had said it too.
Chriin... The sound of a bell stopped me, pulling my attention away.
"This is..."
"Master...?"
"...Amatsuru?"
Turning toward the voice, I saw a figure at the entrance. My eyes opened wide. The maid's face was pale. She stared at my hands. Seeing the strange scene, I called her name again.
"Amatsuru? What is..."
"Please put down the spear...!!"
"!!?"
"Kya!!?"
She came quickly, stomping loudly and ringing bells. Then she grabbed the spear and pulled it toward herself. I tightened my grip and pulled it back. Because the spear was light, Amatsuru stumbled and leaned on me. I caught her. She looked at me with wide eyes, trembling. She seemed scared of something... I felt like I had seen this before.
"M-Master..."
Her fear made my question go away. I looked straight at her, not running, just facing her.
"W-What is it?"
"Why do you have a spear?"
"..."
I looked at the spear and answered honestly, though I wasn't sure myself.
"Well, not much reason... I guess it's for exercise?"
"Exercise?"
"Yeah. I sweated a lot. I'll sleep well tonight. It's been hot lately, and I haven't slept well."
"I see..."
"And... the outside world is scary, right? So even if it's not perfect, I want to protect everyone."
"..."
Amatsuru stared at me. Her eyes were wide. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face was hard to read. I felt a little strange.
"Hehe, it's just a beginner's thought."
I joked, thinking about my many scars. The truth was, I got hurt because I was weak. I even lost my memories. I was a weak Master. Those were my honest words. It was silly, wasn't it? I thought so too.
"..."
"Amatsuru?"
The maid stayed quiet after I spoke. She kept looking at me, almost like she was praying.
"Amatsuru?"
"No... It's not like that. I am very, very happy. It means a lot that Master thinks of us like that, really, really, really..."
When I called her again, she finally answered. Her words were filled with strong feelings, repeated as if she wanted to be sure.
"...That's really nice to hear."
I was confused but had to accept it. I wondered how much of her words were just politeness. But when a tear ran down her cheek, I didn't want to ask.
A woman's tears are a weapon, some say. But to me, her tears seemed true. Not an act. She really seemed moved.
"...I'm sorry. I showed you a pitiful side."
"No, it's okay..."
Amatsuru wiped her tears bravely, and I just watched quietly. She looked even more sad because she seemed born under bad luck. I wished I had a towel to offer, but I didn't.
"So... can you let go of the spear now?"
I asked the maid still holding the spear. She shook her head after wiping her tears.
"No, I can't. Master, you might get hurt. You're not fully healed yet. Please don't push yourself. Not even a small scratch is allowed."
Amatsuru's words were firm. Her strong decision and faith showed clearly.
"But, it's been three weeks of this. It's making me tired."
I was restless from being forced to stay still. I wanted to play ball games with Fuumi and Shii, the kids. Reading and games didn't help me let out my feelings well. But swinging the spear made me feel like I could release my pent-up urge.
"And you know, swinging the spear felt familiar. Like it woke up some memories... Hey? Did I used to do spear dances here in this dojo?"
Since this estate is mine, I should have known about the dojo. And the spear hanging there... So maybe I used it before. I asked with hope, but...
"...I have never seen Master use a spear."
Amatsuru said calmly, no sign of lying.
"...I see."
"For now... please wait until the next full moon. By then, Master should be fully healed. After that, you can move freely."
To comfort me, she spoke with respect.
"Full moon..."
"Yes. The next full moon is on the 15th night. We will pray for Master's health and celebrate. Yes, we will do that...!!"
Character Notes:
• Nagi - Southern maid who wears minimal clothing like underwear or swimsuits. Her attire reflects the norms of her homeland.
• Kuzu - A young girl from a former noble family who was sold into servitude. Tomobe, encounters her and other girls who have wandered into a dangerous underground area on the former Yakushiji family estate (Kayo's bought them later) in Chapter 150. In the loop, she is a head maid beside Amatsuru. Sharp-eyed, disciplined maid with a strong presence.
• Amatsuru - Amatsuru Daifu. Once the top courtesan at Sen'yakuya brothel, was sold into servitude as a child due to her family's debt. She rose to fame for her gentle nature but suffered greatly after the brothel's ownership changed. The new owner's cruelty led to her being overworked, pregnant without protection, and eventually sold her child. Falling ill, she was rescued by a merchant's daughter, Kayo, who reunited her with her twin daughters in exchange for Amatsuru training the merchant's daughters in brothel life. This redemption allowed her to rebuild her life with her children. A mother to Shii and Fumi. On the loop, she is a concerned and protective maid. Traumatized by life 'outside,' she clings to the Master as her only hope for safety.
• Fuumi - One of the playful twin girls; energetic and sweet. Often paired with Shii in mischievous antics, she's reflective and emotionally tuned in, sharing a deep concern for their mother, Amatsuru.
• Shii - White-haired, energetic twin. Lively, affectionate, and always trying to cheer up the Master. Deeply attached to her mother, Amatsuru.
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