Volume 1 Chapter 48 The Magician
I remember the words my sick mother said to me while lying in bed.
"I don't regret giving birth to you. I'm sorry, Ciel. Don't blame anyone. Live rightly."
This happened in a small, old room that looked like a storage shed of the Margrave Wisteria family.
My mother took my hand and said that.
Not long after, she passed away.
They say when a person dies, they rise to the White Moon, Blanche Runne.
It's a paradise without pain, sadness, or worry, and rising to the White Moon is one of the purposes of life.
It felt like the White Moon took my mother's life and left her empty, a quiet end.
"...Live rightly... huh."
I don't remember much from the past.
There's nothing there.
That's what I thought.
The house I bought in the south district is close to Ms. Lydia's shop.
In the south district of the holy city, Arsubania, there are many empty houses.
This is because many poor people live in Arsubania.
Some lose their homes due to debt, some families break apart, some die from not getting treatment, and others are sold into the streets.
The house I bought used to belong to a wealthy merchant in Arsubania.
In the end, the business failed, they got into debt, and the family ran away at night. So, the house was seized and put up for sale.
But that was over 20 years ago.
In Arsubania, it's a strangely large and impressive mansion.
Because of that, no one wanted to buy it, said someone who makes a living by reselling land and houses.
"...It's hard to say what's right."
I wanted a house that was as big and wide as possible for my research lab.
Considering that Saintwise's subordinates would also come, it would be better to have more rooms.
Everything is set up at the Mage Headquarters in the royal palace, but I decided it wasn't good to continue my research there.
In the center of the large living room, I placed a water mirror, which looked like a big flat plate filled with water.
My reflection appeared in it.
I had some jewels in my hair, looking like a mix between a human and a gem person, a half-baked appearance.
"...I guess the effect fades over time."
I dropped a piece of sausage that Ms. Lydia made for me, which had my name on it, into the water mirror.
The water mirror showed no reaction.
The magic power diagnostic water mirror is one of the church's interests, led by the Rest priest family.
The cup that fills the water mirror is just a container, but the holy water inside is managed by the Rest priest family and the priests.
It's the sacred spring water of the goddess, Alexandria.
This spring water is stored deep inside the Great Temple, a place only allowed for a few, like the high priest and the king.
It is said that if someone immerses themselves in the spring water pool, their true form will be revealed.
The magic power diagnostic water mirror uses this idea.
I think that during the time when the goddess Alexandria and the divine ancestor Theobart were alive, monsters could also take on human forms.
Holy water was probably used to find monsters hiding among people.
Of course, you can't take the holy water out.
I created a fake holy water for that reason. It was made to understand the magical powers and curses of monsters.
I thought I could use it to check Ms. Lydia's abilities, but──deep down, I had a feeling that the preserved sausage I had wouldn't have any power.
"To say it has no power is rude. Just being delicious is enough of a charm."
I was surprised by my own cold thoughts.
I picked up a piece of boiled sausage from the water mirror and put it in my mouth. It was spicy and tasty, with a kick from the chili powder.
"...Maybe I should think that the food itself doesn't have power, but Ms. Lydia's magic is spilling into the food."
I wonder if studying Ms. Lydia's powers will actually help her.
Is it the right thing to do?
I'm still confused.
Is it right for many people to be saved, or is it right to protect Ms. Lydia's peace?
Remembering her small body, her delicate black hair, and her violet eyes that always look like they might cry, I let out a deep sigh.
I sat down on the only decent piece of furniture in the messy room filled with water mirrors, books, and research tools──the black leather sofa that was originally in this house.
I started to remember things from the past after meeting Ms. Lydia.
I ended up sharing my story, something I had never told anyone before.
Seeing her get angry for me was so brave, and it made me wonder──did I even have a heart?
I thought what was in my chest was just a cold jewel.
In the Margrave Wisteria family, my mother who gave birth to a gem person was seen as a disgrace and looked down upon.
I am a cursed child, abandoned in a corner of the mansion──treated like I'm not even human as I grew up.
It was normal for my siblings to be violent towards me.
Killing them would have been easy for me, but my mother told me to live rightly, so I didn't do it.
It's very easy to destroy things, but it's really hard to not break them.
I never thought of the Wisteria house as my home, and when I left to go to the gem people's town, I found that I had no place there either.
The gem people were desperate to protect their lives, and I was seen as an outsider, a cause of trouble.
Depending on my actions, I could threaten the peaceful life the gem people had always protected.
'As expected, the gem people are monsters. They are dangerous.'
If the kingdom's people thought like this, they would face another dark age of discrimination.
After that, I lived in a mercenary group's lodging, and when I joined Saintwise, I started living in the royal palace's dormitory.
I only had the bare minimum of belongings, and my life felt so light, but──
I felt very little sense of being alive.
So, when I finally had a place I could call home, it felt like I became a part of this world for the first time.
All my words felt empty. I didn't even understand my own feelings.
Suffering, sadness, joy, happiness──all of it was an act. I had no idea where my true self or my heart was.
I thought this way until I met Ms. Lydia.
"Am I right now?"
I don't know.
I don't know, but──I want to be of help to Ms. Lydia.
I want to protect Ms. Lydia.
I want to see her smile.
For now, as a friend.
I think I like Ms. Lydia's smile when she says we are friends.
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