Volume 6 Chapter 15 Lydia's Regret
Sir Marx and Lady Irfimia are saying, "Let's have the wedding tomorrow. No, tomorrow won't work, but soon."
"The wedding dress is ready. We just need to send out the invitations and greet the Head Priest..."
I felt so guilty that I almost cried.
──I thought Sir Roxas's parents were terrible for hurting him.
I came here thinking I had to help Sir Roxas from the Girard family, but I didn't take it seriously.
Sure, Sir Roxas had a tough childhood and didn't get along with his parents.
But that's not the whole story.
Sir Marx cared most about the family, the country, and the royal family.
Lady Irfimia just didn't know what to do.
So, they probably followed Sir Marx's lead and pushed Sir Roxas away.
It's not that they didn't love him or that they hated him.
They just got their priorities wrong. They didn't know how to connect with him. ──Because of that, Sir Roxas didn't get his parents' love or attention.
That's really cruel. But now they're trying to fix things.
They're properly apologizing.
They're happy about my marriage to Sir Roxas.
──As for me, I'm doing something horrible.
"I'm sorry, but I need to go back to my room. Lydia just got here from the Holy Capital and is tired. I want her to rest."
I didn't want to waste food, so I forced myself to eat the seafood tomato stew, even though I wasn't very hungry.
After I finished, Sir Roxas helped me out of the room.
Sir Marx and Lady Irfimia offered a gentle smile, their voices filled with reassurance as they said, "Take your time to rest," and "Ms. Lydia, you don't have to worry about us."
Sir Roxas held my hand as we slowly walked down the hallway.
On the way, he asked a servant to "bring food to the room."
When we got back to Sir Roxas's room, Eir-Eir was waiting by the fireplace and flew over to me.
Ms. Famine climbed onto my lap on the sofa, and my dad curled up next to me.
After a while, a servant brought in the food.
When the servant entered, Eir-Eir and the others quickly hid under my fluffy skirt. Once the servant set the food on the table and left, they popped back out.
On the table was the seafood tomato stew I made, along with bread, baked goods, and tea.
I used a fork and spoon to feed Eir-Eir the seafood tomato stew, which was hard to eat without using both hands. I thought they might stick their faces in the soup or try to eat the shells.
Ms. Famine was also waiting with her little mouth open, so I cut up some octopus and squid with a knife and fork and fed it to her.
My dad, curled up on the sofa, said, "Seafood goes well with white wine," but I pretended I didn't hear him.
"Lydia, are you okay? You seemed a bit down earlier."
Sir Roxas, sitting next to me, asked.
He must have told someone to bring food for Eir-Eir.
I've never seen him touch or play with them, but he seems to care.
"...Um... yes."
"Did something happen? If my parents treated you badly, I won't let them see you again."
"That's not it! Sir Marx apologized, and I think Lady Irfimia was worried..."
I said while poking Eir-Eir's soft body and squeezing Ms. Famine's paws.
My dad kept nudging my waist with his head, like he wanted me to pet him, so I patted his fluffy ears and head.
It felt nice.
"So... just because the past doesn't disappear, it doesn't change anything. Dad cut off Rail, and Mom went along with it. I don't really care that their love wasn't directed at me, but thinking about what they did to my brother, even if my old dad and mom regret the past now, what does it matter?"
"But still, I think I shouldn't trick the two of them who are happy."
"Trick?"
"Yeah. Because Sir Roxas and I aren't really engaged, and we're not even dating..."
I looked down.
I used to be treated kindly by Sir Stefan, but then I felt the pain of being disliked by him.
Even though I should have been hurt, it felt like I forgot all about it.
Now, I'm trying to hurt Sir Roxas's parents.
"Lydia. If you don't want to trick them, how about telling the truth?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you really want to marry me?"
Sir Roxas said this in a low voice.
I blinked a few times and tilted my head. Just because I didn't want to trick his parents didn't mean I had to go that far. Plus──.
"Sir Roxas, you don't want to get married, right?"
"Yeah. But... if it's you, Lydia..."
"Um, well..."
He grabbed my hand a bit forcefully.
His hard fingers tangled with mine. His golden eyes were staring at me, and I felt a shiver run through my body.
"Wh-what's wrong, Sir Roxas? Why are you suddenly..."
Really, what's going on?
His hands felt hot, and his gaze was different from usual. ──It was a little scary.
"I'm..."
"Y-yes..."
"No, it's nothing. I just feel like if I try to do something now, I'll get attacked by the round dumplings."
Sir Roxas quickly let go of my hand, pressed his forehead, and took a deep breath.
Eir-Eir and Ms. Famine were sitting on the table, giving Sir Roxas a really salty look.
"Pudding!"
"Tatin!"
"The kids are saying not to touch their mom."
Dad spoke up for Eir-Eir and Ms. Famine.
They're both good kids. I hugged them tightly.
But what was that all about? Sir Roxas. We're friends, and maybe because we're close, he thought it would be okay to get married.
I kind of get that. It's easier to marry someone you know a bit than a complete stranger.
"Sir Roxas, you can't just settle for me."
"It's not settling."
"Because of everything with FraFra, maybe Sir Roxas started to dislike women... and thought it would be okay to marry me since we get along somewhat..."
"Lydia. You don't understand other people's feelings..."
Sir Roxas was getting annoyed again. He often gets frustrated when talking to me, so maybe it's better if he doesn't marry me.
I felt relieved when he went back to his usual self.
Then──I thought about what to do.
I really shouldn't trick his parents like this.
"Sir Roxas. If the wedding happens, Sir Rail and the others will come to take me away."
"I figured that might happen, but it would ruin the Girard family's reputation. I can totally see my brother thinking that. I can picture father's shocked face. Serves him right."
"Your reputation will get worse too..."
"I've never had a good reputation anyway. I don't really care about how I look to others anymore."
"...Lady Irfimia was so happy. Maybe it's fine for Sir Rail and Sir Roxas, but it still doesn't feel right."
Sir Roxas crossed his arms and sighed.
"I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Lydia. It would be easier if I just married someone suitable."
Sir Rail wants to help Sir Roxas. Since I'm friends with both of them, I want to be helpful too. But still... keeping Sir Rail's survival a secret and having me and Sir Roxas get married feels wrong.
I think we should really talk about this.
Sir Roxas seems to think that talking to Sir Marx is a waste of time.
But I believe that Sir Marx might be okay to talk to now.
Maybe I'm just being too optimistic.
But I don't want to just watch things go bad or lie to hurt someone.
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