Chapter 25 A Story about Her
It was just about the time the sun set when we reached the hotel we'd be staying at today. After eating, I decided to hit the hay early and wake up early too.
"You're really gonna wear that outside..."
Yuruyana's sleepwear was just like always──a fluffy, hooded top that looked super absorbent and some shorts.
"Keeping the same environment as much as possible helps with sleep, you know?"
"Oh, I see."
When Yuruyana pulled out a body pillow from his bag, which he usually kept at his 'base', it hit differently.
* * *
Maybe it was the exhaustion from the long drive or the change in sleeping environment, but the sleeping pills didn't seem to work well at all.
I had a dream for the first time in ages.
"Two-star! I'm hungry. Make me something!"
The woman lounging around in my room was someone with straight black hair cut neatly to her chest.
"Uh... But don't hang around in the guys' room too much. You know that rude stuff they said last time."
Usually, a squad has about 30 members, but the Fourth Special Forces Unit was a newly formed experimental team aiming to train one-man army level Court Arcanists, so we had a smaller crew──barely ten people at most.
It wasn't a regular division probably because the higher-ups wanted to ramp up the number of Arcanists and eventually grow us into a full squad.
But,
"This room is the biggest and has the least stuff in it."
Within the army, known for strict hierarchy, she acted more important than me, her squad leader.
"Why don't you just clean up your own room..."
"I want something sweet. Hey, I want cake."
Ignoring my nagging completely, she flipped through my personal books with a bored expression, and she was the only female member of the Fourth.
Her striking, sharp almond eyes were unforgettable, and while her skills as an Arcanist were top-notch, her cheeky attitude didn't win her much favor with others.
In that crowd, I was seen as one of the few people she could spar with properly, or at least the one she didn't mind hanging out with, so I unintentionally became her favorite.
"Making it, dinner time comes."
"Eh──"
"...Pancakes. If you eat, you gotta go back."
"Yeah!"
I knew it was bad to spoil her like that.
Even though she's 3 years older than me, I wondered why I have to be the one spoiling her, but I didn't really dislike spending time with her either.
And also,
"Smells so good──"
"Pancakes, huh?"
"I knew you'd come."
When I go along with her whims, Luka and Thomas usually join in, so the time I get just with her isn't much.
"Really, you've got a nose like a dog. You guys, these are MY pancakes, so back off."
"Which mouth are you talking about, telling us to back off?"
Tasking wasn't always fun, but for me──someone who didn't really have many friends in school──laughing stupidly with the Fourth members, fighting over the same plates of food, was pretty fun.
So her last words surprised me quite a bit.
Because I thought she saw me as just her younger brother or a friend, nothing more.
And since women are few in the military, even after hearing bad rumors about her, not many soldiers dared to ask her out──and everyone got politely turned down──that was one reason.
But, honestly, she wasn't so dull she wouldn't notice if she was kissed.
"I'm sorry."
The sweet smell of wheat flour she called happiness turned into the smell of blood──like the nightmares I saw.
Why did she apologize?
Did she think she messed up the mission and caused me trouble?
I used to think she wasn't the type to worry about that stuff, but maybe I just didn't understand her enough.
What was I supposed to say?
Why didn't she tell me sooner?
How could I have saved her?
I keep thinking about it nonstop.
Even though the right answer isn't there anymore.
* * *
And I wonder──why do nightmares stick around, even after I wake up?
Especially vivid when I see her in my dreams.
But remembering the good times a little makes it easier now──more bearable than before.
Maybe that bitter herb they said helps with remembering the bad memories, works on my nightmares.
I propped myself up and stared blankly at some random spot when, out of nowhere, he next to me started to move around.
Between him and this guy, I feel like I'm always being invaded by strangers.
While I was thinking that, I rolled over, and now I could see his face hidden by his silver hair.
As I glared at his relaxed, carefree sleeping face, he opened his eyes.
His golden eyes, not focused at all, wandered for a bit until they finally locked onto mine.
"What are you looking at?! Pervert!"
He suddenly threw the blanket over his head to hide his face.
"You're so full of energy right after waking up..."
Even though he's got absolute confidence in his looks, it seems like he's embarrassed to be seen like this when he's not put together.
"I should've asked for a separate room! Why are you up earlier than me? Did the medicine not work?"
Fully awake, he quickly changed his clothes and then took over the bathroom, fussing over his pretty boy face trying to make it even more perfect, mumbling in frustration.
I can't see it, but he's probably pouting.
"I had a bit of a dream, but I slept enough, so I'm good to drive."
"Well, that's good!"
In the end, it might actually be nice that he is coming with me.
Without telling him, I took a big yawn while thinking about today's plans.
I'm still a little sleepy.
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