Chapter 157-2 Do Not Forget the Heart of Fear
"What the hell?"
"Don't forget your fear."
"!"
But.
The voice that reached me, sharp yet delicate,
melted away like summer snow, soaking into my heart.
"As a knight, you may have to trade lives in the future. If relations with the West worsen, we might be dragged into war."
"..."
"But Merifar, don't forget your fear. Your fear of yourself will guide you, ensuring you don't lose your way."
"...My own path, huh?"
I want to be a hero.
I have to become a protagonist.
The life I've longed for needs courage.
I thought fear was unnecessary.
But if I'm the impurity that stains the 'hero' vessel,
thinking about it makes my legs feel weak.
(...Maybe I'm not built like everyone else.)
The dead modern world.
The new life I walk in this other world.
Which life is more fragile?
Which death is closer?
For a twisted person to live, which is easier?
The morning breeze that slips through my body, carrying no exhaust fumes,
reminds me of my distortions, tasting ironically sweet.
(But I still can't toss away what I'm chasing. That's why I'm here.)
The flaws I ignored were thrown in my face across worlds.
It would be a lie to say I'm not scared of that self.
(So even if I'm scared, I'll push forward. My way.)
Still, the path I aim for is still there.
The captain gently set a marker for me.
What I must do hasn't changed.
I haven't forgotten, and I won't forget.
That's enough.
"Now, let's resume your training. From here on, it'll be stricter than before. Is that okay?"
"...Hell yeah!"
With the twisted encouragement from the strict instructor, I struck my palm with my fist, feeling pumped.
(Well, that was short. Is my worry time over? But hey, that's more like a Master, isn't it?)
(...Yikes. Kinda scary.)
(Huh? What's scary?)
(Ruthless actually said somethin' to lift me up... the hell? Captain... there's this freaky feelin' stuck in my gut. No matter how much I wanna forget it, it just won't go away.)
(Master, I hate you.)
(...Kidding! Geez, chill. Just tryna lighten the mood, alright?)
(I really hate you!)
Uh-oh.
I thought I was just teasing, but it seems I really annoyed her now.
It's good that Ruthless is off-limits during training, but I still need to make it up to her later.
To hide my embarrassment, I quickly pointed my sword towards Captain.
"So, Captain..."
I might as well ask a question that's been on my mind lately.
"Not just me, right? You've gotten stronger since the entrance test, yeah?"
"Hmph. A knight can't just accept defeat. I've worked hard to improve."
"..."
He answered so simply that I felt a bit let down.
Maybe the pressure from Shura really hit him hard.
Looks like Captain has been training like crazy since then.
But his effort isn't as light as his words.
At least I'm sure that Captain can hold his own against Shura now.
No, maybe he's even better than Shura already.
"Hey! Break time's over. We keep going!"
"Tch. Fine. Gonna knock some sense into that thick skull of yours!"
"You're on! I'll take you down today!"
My mentor, the man I call my teacher, keeps pushing forward.
So, it's my job to keep up and chase after him.
With a roar that echoed high into the autumn sky, my sword cut through the air with determination.
* * *
By the way, the one who got the worst of this whole mess was a young book lover.
Here are the details of what happened.
"Hey, Shura..."
"What?"
"Do you have to look so angry?"
"I'm not angry! I just can't understand what's going on! I'm just not satisfied, that's all!"
"I-I get it, but don't say it all at once! So, what can't you understand?"
"...Why did that idiot choose the captain as his partner?"
"Huh?"
"Because it's the captain, right? He's the busiest in Reginleif. Then why not pick me instead? I even beat him in the entrance test! I'd do it if he asked me..."
"...So you're upset he didn't pick you?"
"N-no! I'm just not okay with it, that's all!"
"Sounds like you're jealous."
"Did you say something?!"
"N-nothing... Well, maybe it's because they're both guys."
"Huh?"
"I mean, even if you're just as good, it's hard to ask a girl from the same squad to train you. But guys? It's easier to ask and talk things over."
"That's not logical at all. Quollio, did you eat something weird?"
"I did not! Guys just have their reasons, okay!"
"Exactly why I don't get it. Explain it clearly! You're good at this stuff, right?!"
"W-wait, why am I the one being blamed?! Help me, Hiiro! Save meee!!!"
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