Volume 2 Chapter 41 I Become a Retainer
Upon completing today's work and arriving at Margrave Shield's mansion, Lydia heads to her room and knocks on the door.
"Mother Lydia, I have returned. I'd like to discuss something with you if you have the time?"
"Come in," a response came from inside, and upon opening the door, she looked up from her book to inquire about today's tasks.
"Oh, Cain, you must be tired. Did everything go smoothly today?"
"Yes, I finished as planned. I'd like to discuss the 'paving' with you?"
"Alright, but let's go to your father's study first. There's someone I'd like to introduce you to, Cain."
Lydia mentioned that she hadn't heard much from Margrave Shield either, only that he would introduce someone at lunch if Cain returned. With a bit of unease, they knocked on the door to Margrave Shield's study.
"Come in," a voice responded from inside, and the butler opened the door for them. There stood 2 unfamiliar men: one slightly chubby and the other short with a muscular build.
"Lydia, Cain, perfect timing. These gentlemen just arrived."
"Pleased to meet you, I am a slave trader named Barbaral. At Margrave's request, I've brought this man. He is a dwarf named Barvish. He will be a slave with the combat and arithmetic skills you desire."
Lydia and Cain exchanged a 'what's this about?' look and turned to Margrave Shield, who explained with a slightly amused expression.
"Since Cain has become a knight, I thought you needed a retainer who could also act as a bodyguard. I considered a regular retainer, but with more secrets to keep from Cain, I decided on a slave. A slave can literally bet their life on guarding and keeping secrets."
"Still, isn't this too sudden?" Lydia pressed, but Margrave Shield just laughed it off with a dismissive, "It's fine, it's fine."
Barvish lacks the quintessential dwarf features like a Santa Claus beard and a prominently protruding belly. At a glance, he looks like a rugby player's muscular physique, compacted into a smaller frame. His arms are incredibly thick, nearly the size of a woman's thigh. A single strike from those arms would completely flatten Cain.
"Margrave, if you would allow us, we wish to proceed with the Contract Ceremony. Is that alright?"
"Mhm, go ahead."
Barbaral took out a single piece of parchment. The parchment was adorned with various magical symbols and circles drawn on either side. Barbaral pricked Barvish's palm with a knife to draw blood and then placed his hand on the circle on the right. Barbaral handed a new knife to Cain.
(Huh, seriously? I'm not good with pain, but I'm nodding at the Margrave Shield. I look to Lydia for help, and she nods too. There's no escaping this!)
With a slight tremble, he managed to cut his palm. Blood oozed up and he placed his hand on the circle on the left.
As Barbaral watched Cain place his hand, he began to chant a spell and the parchment emitted a blue light. The light was absorbed by Cain and Barvish. Then, a line appeared on Cain's pinky, and Barvish's collar glowed faintly blue.
"That concludes the contract. If there are any additional terms, please inscribe them on this parchment."
He pulled out a quill and ink from his pocket, indicating the margin of the parchment. He wrote in the order of Margrave Shield, Lydia, and Cain. Four conditions: Do not act against Cain's interests or speak of them; report on Cain's business to the Shield and Sanroze families truthfully; do not harm Cain and protect his life at all costs; do not lie to Cain.
"Thank you. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further orders. Excuse me."
Barbaral made a graceful bow and exited the office.
Barvish temporarily left to bathe and change clothes. In the office, only Margrave Shield, Lydia, and Cain remained.
"Now, didn't you have something to discuss with me?"
"Yes, Margrave Shield. I've come with a request."
Margrave Shield, now in his professional demeanor, gestured for Cain to continue.
Cain explained the recent events and the high demand for "cobblestone" roads, requesting that all streets be paved with cobblestones. He emphasized that public works were meant to improve the lives of the citizens, and decisions shouldn't be based solely on profit. However, he also mentioned that this would likely extend their stay by another two weeks to a month. Lydia was the first to object, insisting that they needed to return on schedule and couldn't allow further delays.
"I understand both Cain's concern for the citizens and Lydia's concern for Cain," Margrave Shield said after a moment. "My decision is this: Cain will return on time. However, in six months, we'll proceed with paving the streets with cobblestones. In the meantime, Cain, you'll gather and finalize the requests for which streets to pave."
""Thank you.""
Both Lydia and Cain expressed their gratitude for Margrave Shield's decision.
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Thank you for reading this far.
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Certainly! Here's my review and character analysis based on the chapter you provided:
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Chapter Review:
1. What happens? (Summary):
Lydia and Cain visit Margrave Shield's mansion, where they are introduced to a slave trader named Barbaral, who brings with him a dwarf named Barvish. Margrave Shield explains his reasons for choosing a slave as Cain's retainer—believing a slave can better keep secrets and serve as a bodyguard. The chapter details the contract ceremony, including blood magic, with Cain agreeing to terms of loyalty and secrecy. The scene wraps up with Barvish preparing to bathe and change clothes.
2. Did it feel too slow, too fast, or just right?
The pacing feels just right for this particular scene. It moves smoothly through dialogue, introduction, and the contract, maintaining steady tension without rushing or dragging.
3. Were the characters interesting and easy to tell apart?
Yes, the characters are distinctive. Margrave Shield's amused, dismissive attitude contrasts with Lydia's concern and Cain's tentative acceptance. Barvish's physical description makes him memorable, and the dialogue helps differentiate them clearly.
4. Did the world feel real and understandable in one chapter? Evaluate the setting and fantasy elements:
The setting of a noble estate and a formal contract ceremony feels believable within a fantasy context. The use of magic symbols on parchment and blood magic are well-integrated, but some details (like the specifics of the contract and magical symbols) could be expanded for clarity. For the length of one chapter, it effectively introduces a new facet of the world—the existence of magical contract rituals involving blood.
5. Was any part confusing or hard to follow?
Mostly clear, but the section describing the magical symbols and the blood contract could benefit from a brief explanation of what the symbols represent or how the magic works, especially for readers unfamiliar with such magic in this universe.
6. Conflict & Stakes:
The main conflict revolves around the decision to appoint Barvish as Cain's retainer through a blood magic contract. The stakes are high for Cain's safety and secrets, and for Margrave Shield's authority. The tension rises with the blood ritual, emphasizing the seriousness of the contract and the danger involved.
7. What was good?
- The detailed depiction of the contract ceremony adds a layer of depth and mystique.
- The character interactions reveal personality and motive nicely, especially Margrave Shield's casual dismissiveness and Lydia's concern.
8. What could be better?
- Clarify the magic symbolism and how the contract works to deepen immersion.
- Some dialogue might be made more concise to improve pacing, especially during technical descriptions.
9. Line Notes:
- "Blood oozed up -ssu and he placed his hand on the circle on the left." (Potential typo or formatting issue; probably should be "oozed up slowly.")
- The description of Barvish's physique is vivid but dense; consider breaking into smaller sentences for clarity.
10. Is there a mix of alphabet and Japanese or Chinese?
No, the chapter primarily uses English (or romanized fantasy language). The only possible exception could be the magic symbols, which are described as 'magical symbols and circles,' but no actual Japanese or Chinese characters are present in the text.
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Character Notes (Footnotes):
- Cain — Protagonist, newly appointed knight. He's the central figure in the scene, receiving a retainer (Barvish) and involved in the blood contract ritual.
- Lydia — Cain's mother, likely a noble or estate owner. She appears caring and concerned about Cain's well-being and the choices made for his retainer.
- Margrave Shield — The noble ruler of the territory, with a relaxed attitude towards formalities; he orchestrates the appointment of Cain's retainer and seems amused by the situation.
- Barbaral — Slave trader, responsible for bringing Barvish; involved in the contract ritual. He displays professional detachment.
- Barvish — A dwarf with a muscular, compact physique, intended as Cain's retainer/bodyguard, brought via magical contract.
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Let me know if you'd like further insight or specific suggestions!
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