Volume 9 Chapter 24 Once Again
It was raining outside, and the sound of the rain hitting the ground was loud. They said it might snow and we would have a white Christmas, but it's not like that in reality.
"..."
I drank the champagne in my glass all at once as I listened to a variety show on the television. The bubbly drink and alcohol made my throat feel warm. It had been almost two hours since the Christmas party ended, where Hinata fought bravely.
After that, Lisha and Kanami came back, all wet from the rain. They both went straight to their rooms and fell asleep.
Maybe I missed the chance to talk to them. I've never seen Lisha like that before. Just thinking about her expression fills me with frustration.
As I poured champagne into my glass again, another glass was placed next to it.
"I was wondering if you could pour some for me too."
"What's the matter?"
Sitting next to me was Tsukiko.
She looked like she had already taken a bath, with her shiny black hair.
"Well, since you seem sad, it might be a good idea to have someone to drink with in the evening."
"It won't be fun to drink with me now."
"Yeah, you're a bad guy who makes girls cry."
"Are you here to make sarcastic comments?"
I already know that without being told.
The important thing is not about exchanging gifts.
Did I make Lisha cry?
Without thinking, I stared at Tsukiko, and she looked surprised.
"Why are you surprised?"
"Well, I didn't expect you to know about it."
Did this girl really come here to start a fight?
Tsukiko lifted the champagne glass lightly. I hesitated for a moment, then clinked my glass against hers.
Tsukiko quickly drank almost half of it and then looked at me again.
"I didn't come to blame you or anything. It's just that you, you've always been insensitive... obtuse... not good with romantic relationships, right?"
"So you came here to argue."
Why is she insulting me? Did she search for similar words in the dictionary or something?
Tsukiko laughs, "Haha," in a different mischievous way. Maybe it's because she's a bit drunk.
Unfortunately, I don't have the energy to handle that kind of tension.
I looked down and said,
"If you came to laugh, go back to your room. I'm not in the mood for that right now."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Then why do you have that expression on your face?"
Tsukiko remains the same, with a somewhat amused expression. On the other hand, I probably have a terrible expression on my face.
"Well, it's probably because it's been a while since you spoke to me in that way."
"――Huh?"
"It's a memory that brings back feelings of the past. I can't recall ever having arguments with you."
As I'm told this, memories resurface.
Indeed, while we were together, Tsukiko and I never really had any fights.
"There was only one instance where I tried to confront some rude men, and I ended up being scolded."
"...Oh, right, that did happen."
When we were waiting at a certain train station, it seemed that a group of intoxicated men were making unwelcome advances, and Tsukiko stepped in to stop them.
Looking back now, there's no way the Anti-Demon Official would lose to ordinary people.
Still, I remember feeling a rush of fear when I witnessed that scene.
Back then, and even now,
"It's true, I always go in circles..."
"That's correct. But, it could be said that's one of your good qualities."
"It's just wishful thinking."
"No, it's different. Because at that time, I felt happy. Being protected by someone was an experience I hadn't had in a long time."
I looked up and saw Tsukiko. She had a calm smile on her face, which made me feel nostalgic.
"Even if it was all for nothing, it was still worth it because you did it for someone else. Lisha-san and Kanami-san should understand that."
"That's not true."
"It is. That's why everyone trusts you."
Her words seemed to imply something, and I couldn't help but feel that there was some deeper meaning behind them. It couldn't just be a misunderstanding.
"So, when did you realize that Lisha-san and the others have feelings for you?"
Tsukiko asked directly.
To be honest, I don't know if Tsukiko's thoughts match what I think. It's a silly and unrealistic idea.
I keep denying it, saying it's impossible a hundred times, but then I catch myself thinking, "What if it could be true?" That maybe Lisha and Kanami have feelings for me.
It's really embarrassing, and it makes me feel self-conscious like I'm back in middle school.
"...no evidence. Just a lonely man's imagination."
"Someone once went out with that lonely man."
"W-well... I'm sorry."
I don't even know why I'm apologizing, but I said sorry.
"But still, that doesn't matter here."
"Why? Eris-san, Sharla-san also liked you. And Hinata-san too."
"Did you know?"
"They didn't hide it, so, of course, I knew. It's normal."
I get it. Tsukiko and the others, I thought they didn't know about such things. It seems we both thought the same.
"Lisha and Kanami are sixteen. That kind of love is just kids' stuff."
"I've heard you met Eris-san before, but I wonder how you would have reacted if she told you then."
"..."
I probably would have been upset.
Don't say things like that as a grown-up.
But now, we have a bigger problem than just age. It's something I've always avoided facing.
Words that I've never shared with anyone before, strangely, they come out easily when I'm with Tsukiko.
"...Everyone, once this battle is over, we will go back to our original world."
"Yes, that's what I've heard."
The situation is different from when it was my turn. There's no doubt that everyone will return.
That day is coming closer and closer.
I don't know what will happen to Lisha, and even the Noire inside Hinata.
And I looked down.
The days spent with everyone feel like they were just yesterday.
'The knight from earlier, are you and that person... um, the same?'
'When did you start participating in this God-Demon War, Hero-sama?'
'I trusted Yuusuke with my life and had him fight. That promise will not be in vain.'
'Kahaha, it seems good, Yuusuke.'
'Don't hate Noire.'
'Yuusuke, you are the one who has paved the way for hope in any despair. You were my silver guidepost.'
'No matter what fate lies ahead, I vow to be your support until this soul decays. So, Yuusuke-san. - As my knight, will you fight alongside me?'
Every day since meeting Lisha has been like a miracle to me.
Being able to be with the people who I now consider important, and with the people who I thought I would never see again, every day.
There is no greater miracle than that.
That's why I want everyone to be as happy as possible.
With a smile, I want them to think that the memories on this Earth were enjoyable.
So, so,
"I am - the worst...!"
I feel disgusted by what I am doing.
Lisha, Kanami, and Eris aren't the only ones. Sharla, Noire, and Hinata openly show they like me but I avoid talking to them directly.
If I did that, it wouldn't just be happy memories.
Thinking that way, I've been avoiding it.
"Even if it hurts, even if our relationship changes, I wanted you to tell me the truth... Even though I felt that strongly, I'm doing the same..."
When I came back from Asteris, it was clear something was hidden from me, and I thought about it a lot.
Why couldn't we talk openly? Was our trust only on the surface?
I know that.
But even if we face it and move forward, I can see the end of our relationship.
In the end, it would just hurt and leave scars.
"That's why I, I—"
Because it's something I didn't want to tell anyone, the words don't come out well.
At that time, Tsukiko's hand touched mine.
From her slim and cool skin, a gentle warmth slowly moved.
The feeling of Tsukiko's hand is very familiar.
"If not wanting to hurt anyone means you can't look at each other, then it might be arrogance pretending to be kindness—or perhaps, weakness."
Sharp words go through my chest.
It's not just painful. It feels like my heart is being taken out.
"But in a way, your thoughts might be right. If it's a relationship that will end no matter what decision we make, then it's pointless. Actually, it might even turn into a curse."
"..."
Tsukiko's words continue, and I don't know what expression she has.
"But no matter what choice you make, it's your freedom. Just remember one thing."
"Remember?"
My hand held Tsukiko's hand tightly. Her hand felt like it was shaking. When I looked up, she said something.
"I will always be with you."
"――"
Through Tsukiko's black hair, her face turned red, even her ears.
What did she say just now?
"――Um, wait."
"I won't wait. Be quiet. Don't talk. Can you stay silent for a while?"
"Y-Yes."
Feeling immense pressure, I close my mouth. Tsukiko kept talking, still looking down.
"I say these things because I think I'm acting selfishly, and I know I'm the one talking. So, it's just my own thought. I don't want you to get hurt again, so I won't distance myself from you anymore."
Tsukiko speaks louder.
Normally, she's calm and never raises her voice, but now, it seems like her emotions are making her words burn.
"When you're in pain, when you want to cry, I'll always be there for you like this. Even if I can't do anything, I will keep supporting you."
I remember what happened on that mountain.
I defeated the monster, she saw the scars on my body, and she looked at me with tears in my eyes.
'I... I don't want you to get hurt anymore. Even if it's selfish, even if it means we have to separate from Yuusuke in the end.'
The words she spoke now were strangely similar to what she said back then.
But my heart feels a completely different strength and rhythm compared to back then.
Tsukiko raised her face.
"I never forget the first time I saw you. You were standing so gracefully on your own, and you looked incredibly dazzling to me. That's why I fell in love with you."
Then, she continued.
"And Yuusuke is the most important person to me."
Her smile at that moment was the most charming I have ever seen.
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